At what point is our level of acceptance hindered? At what point does someone hit the mark of “asking a lot of people” to accept them? Is there a breaking point for forgiveness of behaviors in the past that were considered UNacceptable? Is it possible to have a past of such extreme that acceptance comes at quite a high price?
Biblically standing many would cite Matthew 18:21-22…
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Of course, this particular citation is referencing behaviors done directly toward you. I’m not specifying to that extent, but just behaviors in need of forgiveness in general—whether direct at you, or someone else.
What can be even more burdensome is when these unacceptable behaviors come with “permanent” reminders—ways of their existence still remaining even long after the intent/reason/purpose for the behaviors might have changed or been forgotten.
So to what extent are you, or a group as a whole, willing to accept those with a burdensome past? Do you think you could be forgiving of the “extreme,” even with constant reminders?
Let me help you try to picture an “extreme” case…let’s imagine together…
[Feel free to picture me sitting on a window seat and pushing a small “hidden” button and a little red trolley car comes ding dinging along a track behind me…HA!]
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[The following story is rated “R” for adult language. Well, media today would rate it “PG-13” but one word in general would give it its “R” rating if you asked my mother…HA! Read on at your own risk.]
You live in your town. Okay, maybe your city (this is the big-time because we’re talking “extreme”). You live out in a cozy suburb of the city, of course; not in the inner-run down parts where gangs are part of your passing in your everyday commute.
You attend a small church congregation—200 on Sunday mornings when everyone is in town and no flu virus is going around. The membership is made up of a fairly conservative group with a majority population of middle to later-aged individuals. It’s a pleasant group of people who get together to worship their God.
One day a man (and his wife and young daughter) move to your city. They have come via Greyhound with their belongings all wrapped up in brown paper bags. They were able to get themselves a small efficiency place at a complex willing to allow month-to-month rental payments with no questioned asked. The man has recently gotten out of prison. His previous charges are not known, but he admits to previous gang involvement.
His plea is that he left his hometown in another state because he wanted to change his life. He knew how difficult it would be for him staying there being around the same setting that influenced his past behaviors so he moved to your city with hopes of change. He claims to want to get his life right with God and to “do the church thing.” He has called you to talk to you about coming to your church. With your accepting heart, your first reaction is “of course! Our church will open its hearts and welcome you with open arms.” But then he stops you to disclose what is still unknown to you…
The man tells you his past gang involvement was pretty extreme and he has the tattoos to prove it. He informs you that his appearance can be hard to accept. You tell him that doesn’t matter, to which he continues to share with you the explicit level of his body markings.
He says there is barbed wire tattooed around his neck—harmless I suppose, but “tough” when trying to fit into a gang. He also has the true markings of a gangster. He discloses that his right cheek as several tear drop markings. Without his sharing, your limited gang knowledge reminds you that each of those tear drops represent individuals who that person has hurt or killed while being a part of a gang. He then continues. He admits to having a life-sized hand with the middle finger gesturing to the world imprinted on the back of his head. And not to leave those glancing at him from the front out, the phrase “Fuck the World” tattooed across his neck just above the barbed wire.
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So, could you accept him? Could your church accept him? Would you place stipulations on your “acceptance?” Would you tell him it would be necessary for him to wear a covering of some sort over the back of his head? I’m sure any current/past gang member could come up with a bandana to suffice. ;)
Would he be expected to sit in the back pew, or could you sit in a pew behind him and look at the finger gesturing at you as your minister preaches about worldly sins? Could you place yourself in a one-on-one Bible study with him and share with him the passages on love face to face with the phrase “Fuck the World” staring back at you through the remainder of the study?
This man might be pressing the limits of “acceptance” right? I mean he has the “permanent” markings to bring his past history to the forefront in most situations, so can acceptance still be established with such “hatred” displayed?
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At this point you might be thinking, “Oh please! That definitely is the extreme, so what’s the likelihood of that ever happening?”
It happened. And it happened to some of the people I was the closest to growing up in my hometown church congregation.
I suppose my friends at this congregation were willing to be led by their hearts. They truly took on the ministering and sharing of their gospel through Colossians 3:5-8 where it says…
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
They were able to accept this man and his family for who he was claiming to be now, and who he admitted to having been in the past.
Unfortunately, it was the news of who he is accused of becoming in the future (which represents today), that has brought his story to my attention…
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[The following story is rated “PG-13” for graphic details. Read on at your own risk.]
A matter of months passed as this gentleman continued his “new” life in his “new” town. Him and his family were able to move into a better living situation, with the help of the church, and he and his wife took on the blood of Christ through baptism within the first few months of their attendance with the congregation.
Slowly things began to change, however. Checks in and out of drug rehabilitation clinics were occurring for both the man and his wife. He began to have difficulty making the bill payments, even with the financial budgeting advising that he was getting through a man at the congregation—who happens to be a close friend of mine. The family's financial situation was tight, as their income was limited to SSDI checks (Social Security Disability Income).
With time the man began to struggle with the adjustments and unfamiliar stresses of his “new” lifestyle. The pressures became too much for his coping ability and he lashed out at his wife, resulting in her and her daughter leaving him. The man continued to struggle. He cut off connection with the gentleman from the church who was helping him handle his finances—leaving him with threats to hurt/kill him. The man ended up checking himself into a group home. So time passed until this past week…
Wednesday evening police released word that an older gentleman in his 70s had been murdered at his home. His body was found on the porch. He had been shot, execution style, in the back of the head and stabbed in the abdomen with a 12-inch serrated knife. Witnesses say his daughter and her boyfriend were the last seen leaving the house that afternoon with the father’s SUV. The “boyfriend” being the “changed” man from the church.
The police were on the look-out for the couple. Time passed and people from my hometown church were unnerved and anxious. The man who had helped the man with his finances was beside himself when the news reached him. The police were in contact with him immediately having got notice of the death threat that “the man” had posed to him in recent weeks.
The police were called in for 5-minute interval drive-by “checks” on the church congregation during the Wednesday night evening service. The congregation was informed of the situation and asked to be on the lookout and to report any contact they might have with “the man.”
It was “the financial advisor” man who was given the most concerned attention by the police however. It was this gentleman who had gotten the closest to “the man,” through offering his caring heart and unconditional forgiveness for his past history. This gentleman was the one who was expected to have “the man’s” SSDI check arrive at his home in the next couple of days, as SSDI checks typically arrive at the first of the month.
Would “the man” show up looking for his money? Would “the man” try to contact the gentleman to hurt him or to get his money? The police didn’t know, nor did the gentleman—all he could do was pray.
It was early Saturday when the news came in that “the man” and his girlfriend, the accused suspects in the murder case, had been taken into custody when making a stop at a hospital in the state of Arkansas.
The heart-driven gentleman and his wife from my hometown church were then able to return to their home safely without the aid of police escorts, as the past couple of days had been. Prays were being lifted up for the restraint of the accused dangerous individuals. But minds still wondered…
Minds are still boggling at the mixed thoughts of occurrences. Had acceptance gotten to too much? Or had “the man” gotten to the point of not being able to accept his “new” life for how it was becoming? Maybe could he not accept himself and forgive himself for his past—sending him spiraling back into the ways of his past?
I don’t know, but as the trial begins to pan out over this next week, you can bet I’ll be keeping in touch with those who were closer to the action than I—those who were able to look past the past and accept today for a “new.”
See “him” for yourself here.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Saturday, September 02, 2006
If My iPod Could Talk...
...it would tell you I am obsessed with music. Music is a BIG part of my everyday life. It's a lot like food to me, in that I believe I have to have it to survive and I'm not real picky about what kind.
When I first learned about iPods, I was never really interested in having my own, because they were just another of those "new gadgets" that is WAY over priced and everyone is getting one just to be a part of the fad. I was perfectly content with my cds. iPods were the new development once again to make people lazier, in my opinion.
But then for Christmas I found one of the video iPods as my gift from my uncle and aunt with whom I live. Though I had not asked for one, I figured I could give it a try to see what all the "big deal" about it was. I "might" use it, you know! ;)
So today I sit writing this entry with my iPod currently playing through my stereo. It is playing one of my 16 playlists I have loaded on it, which consist of an array of songs out of the 1254 songs I have on the iPod to date.
So, I've had the iPod for approximately 8 months--that making about 240 days. With that being the case, according to my "Top 25 Most Played" songs off the iPod, my number one most played song has been played more times than the amount of days I've even had the player...HA!
I think looking at the "Top 25 Most Played" songs is interesting. I think it can tell a story in a way. The reason's one plays some songs SO much more than others has purpose. Sure, maybe you just REALLY like that song, but that is not always the case. Some songs become a part of you at a certain time because they have a special meaning for you at that time.
I wanted to share my iPod "Top 25 Most Played" songs list. I would love to hear what other's "Top 25 Most Played" list looks like. It can be interesting...
[Disclaimer: The number in parentesis following the artist is the number of times the song has been "played" on my iPod (note: to qualify as a "play" on an iPod, this means the song has to be played COMPLETELY through and come to a complete ended to count). The date following that number is the last time that song was "played" on my iPod]
25. Feels Like Today by Rascal Flatts (96) 9-1-2006
24. **Look Away by Chicago (99) 7-17-2006
23. When I'm Gone (edited) by Eminem (105) 6-14-2006
22. Here With Us by Joy Williams (108) 7-25-2006
21. I Just Can't Live a Lie by Carrie Underwood (108) 8-13-2006
20. Pieces by Rascal Flatts (112) 8-26-2006
19. Black Horse and the Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall (119) 9-1-2006
18. What's Left of Me by Nick Lachey (123) 8-26-2006
17. You and Me by Lifehouse (123) 9-1-2006
16. Unfaithful by Rihanna (129) 9-1-2006
15. You're Beautiful by James Blunt (129) 7-21-2006
14. **Starts with Goodbye by Carrie Underwood (130) 8-20-2006
13. Boston by Augustana (133) 9-1-2006
12. What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts (135) 9-1-2006
11. Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield (135) 7-29-2006
10. 525,600 Minutes on the Rent Soundtrack (136) 8-25-2006
9. Stand by Rascal Flatts (138) 9-1-2006
8. Wisemen by James Blunt (140) 6-10-2006
7. Be Without You by Mary J. Blige (162) 9-1-2006
6. Bad Day by Daniel Powter (165) **4-14-2006
5. My Wishes by Rascal Flatts (167) 9-1-2006
4. When I Get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton (219) 9-1-2006
3. Hate Me by Blue October (230) 9-1-2006
2. Breathe by Anna Nalick (236) 9-1-2006
And the number one most played song on my iPod since I got it...
1. Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks (262) 9-1-2006
So that is my list.
The reason some dates are highlighted in green is to make special note that some of those songs HAVE been played a lot on my iPod; however, they have not been played recently--meaning they might not be one of my "top" favorite songs anymore, they just happend to be on the list because they WERE played a lot at one time. One song has been noted with (**) because that particular song has not been played on my iPod in a number of months because I cut that song out of my music listening pleasures because of psychology-related reasons.
The songs that I have highlighted in red are songs that got played a lot because they had a special meaning at a time for me. Two of the songs that are in red that have been denoted with (**) represent songs that were played a lot because they meant something really special to a friend of mine, so I played them a lot for that friend, as well as I listened to them on my own time thinking about that friend.
When I first learned about iPods, I was never really interested in having my own, because they were just another of those "new gadgets" that is WAY over priced and everyone is getting one just to be a part of the fad. I was perfectly content with my cds. iPods were the new development once again to make people lazier, in my opinion.
But then for Christmas I found one of the video iPods as my gift from my uncle and aunt with whom I live. Though I had not asked for one, I figured I could give it a try to see what all the "big deal" about it was. I "might" use it, you know! ;)
So today I sit writing this entry with my iPod currently playing through my stereo. It is playing one of my 16 playlists I have loaded on it, which consist of an array of songs out of the 1254 songs I have on the iPod to date.
So, I've had the iPod for approximately 8 months--that making about 240 days. With that being the case, according to my "Top 25 Most Played" songs off the iPod, my number one most played song has been played more times than the amount of days I've even had the player...HA!
I think looking at the "Top 25 Most Played" songs is interesting. I think it can tell a story in a way. The reason's one plays some songs SO much more than others has purpose. Sure, maybe you just REALLY like that song, but that is not always the case. Some songs become a part of you at a certain time because they have a special meaning for you at that time.
I wanted to share my iPod "Top 25 Most Played" songs list. I would love to hear what other's "Top 25 Most Played" list looks like. It can be interesting...
[Disclaimer: The number in parentesis following the artist is the number of times the song has been "played" on my iPod (note: to qualify as a "play" on an iPod, this means the song has to be played COMPLETELY through and come to a complete ended to count). The date following that number is the last time that song was "played" on my iPod]
25. Feels Like Today by Rascal Flatts (96) 9-1-2006
24. **Look Away by Chicago (99) 7-17-2006
23. When I'm Gone (edited) by Eminem (105) 6-14-2006
22. Here With Us by Joy Williams (108) 7-25-2006
21. I Just Can't Live a Lie by Carrie Underwood (108) 8-13-2006
20. Pieces by Rascal Flatts (112) 8-26-2006
19. Black Horse and the Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall (119) 9-1-2006
18. What's Left of Me by Nick Lachey (123) 8-26-2006
17. You and Me by Lifehouse (123) 9-1-2006
16. Unfaithful by Rihanna (129) 9-1-2006
15. You're Beautiful by James Blunt (129) 7-21-2006
14. **Starts with Goodbye by Carrie Underwood (130) 8-20-2006
13. Boston by Augustana (133) 9-1-2006
12. What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts (135) 9-1-2006
11. Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield (135) 7-29-2006
10. 525,600 Minutes on the Rent Soundtrack (136) 8-25-2006
9. Stand by Rascal Flatts (138) 9-1-2006
8. Wisemen by James Blunt (140) 6-10-2006
7. Be Without You by Mary J. Blige (162) 9-1-2006
6. Bad Day by Daniel Powter (165) **4-14-2006
5. My Wishes by Rascal Flatts (167) 9-1-2006
4. When I Get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton (219) 9-1-2006
3. Hate Me by Blue October (230) 9-1-2006
2. Breathe by Anna Nalick (236) 9-1-2006
And the number one most played song on my iPod since I got it...
1. Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks (262) 9-1-2006
So that is my list.
The reason some dates are highlighted in green is to make special note that some of those songs HAVE been played a lot on my iPod; however, they have not been played recently--meaning they might not be one of my "top" favorite songs anymore, they just happend to be on the list because they WERE played a lot at one time. One song has been noted with (**) because that particular song has not been played on my iPod in a number of months because I cut that song out of my music listening pleasures because of psychology-related reasons.
The songs that I have highlighted in red are songs that got played a lot because they had a special meaning at a time for me. Two of the songs that are in red that have been denoted with (**) represent songs that were played a lot because they meant something really special to a friend of mine, so I played them a lot for that friend, as well as I listened to them on my own time thinking about that friend.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Gossip
We all have thoughts on gossip. I'm not going to share thoughts here. I just want to point my readers in the direction of a wonderful blog entry on the topic of gossip. Maybe this will help some people take a different view on gossip, because once you realize that everyone does it and for the reasons that they do, it's easier to accept.
The link is here; HOWEVER, I do warn you. The author of this blog is HIGHLY intelligent and I'd be lying if I said I am able to always follow his blogs...HA! This particular entry wasn't what I would say "over-my-head," but at the same time, it does involve a lot of psychological talk.
What can I say? This man was one AMAZING professor to take courses from! It was quite a blessing for me back then, and it is a blessing for me to get to continue to learn from him via his blog nowadays!
The link is here; HOWEVER, I do warn you. The author of this blog is HIGHLY intelligent and I'd be lying if I said I am able to always follow his blogs...HA! This particular entry wasn't what I would say "over-my-head," but at the same time, it does involve a lot of psychological talk.
What can I say? This man was one AMAZING professor to take courses from! It was quite a blessing for me back then, and it is a blessing for me to get to continue to learn from him via his blog nowadays!
Monday, August 28, 2006
I Believe It’s a Judgment Call
It was just a quote. A mere quote I had posted on my facebook profile that lead to some great thought for me today. It started with a smart friend of mine confronting my support of this quote. The friend posted this on my facebook wall today:
do you truly believe the quote you have listed from hamlet? very curious! :) have a fabulous monday!
The quote in which the friend was referencing, which I have on my facebook profile says this:
"There is nothing either good or bad, but the thinking makes it so." ~Hamlet
Upon rereading the quote I thought to myself. “Hmm…you know, I don’t know. Do I really believe that?”
I recalled the time when I posted it and then I was in much agreement with it because it was amidst a time of a lot of debate concerning homosexuality. In my opinion, this quote is true when considering the topic of homosexuality. Depending on how you think, you’ll view homosexuality as either “good” or “bad.” So yes, at that time I was in strong belief that this quote had justification. But for some reason today, I found myself questioning it…
I began to try the quote to topics other than homosexuality. So, what does everyone think of first? Murder, of course. So I debated that one in my head. Thought about a couple other topics I think, then responded back to my friends facebook wall with this…
You would go throw one of my quotes in my face...HA!
Okay, with the "nothing" part of it, it tends to make me want to discredit it based on the absolutivity of the term; however, I can't help but to debate in my head that possibly it IS correct.
At the time when I first heard it, and liked it, it was a time when debating homosexuality was big, so in those terms, I thought it really applied. As of right now, now that I've been "forced" to look at it again, I am having to play some examples out in my head.
I'll tell you what, you help me since you brought this up...HA! I have a feeling you don't believe the quote, so you give me an example of something that is "bad" and not "bad" simply because of the thinking.
This is the response I got back from the friend on my wall:
murder. redrum. however you want to spell it.
Yeah, I was pretty sure that was the response I was going to get, but I thought, might as well let her call the shots…HA! So I responded like this…
You know, that was the response I was expecting to get. And first, I must say, it is probably a good thing you do not want to be a criminal lawyer, otherwise, you might be a big fan of this Hamlet quote.
So I've given good ol' redrum some thought and even after going to dictionary.com to look up the EXACT definition of "murder" I still think you can argue that murder comes down to how we view the situation in which the "killing" took place (our "thinking") as to whether the killing was "bad" or not.
Animals kill other animals and we don't think of it as "bad."
Probably the best argument can come from war. There is killing there, and no one is going to be tried in our country's court of law for killing on the battlefield. By definition that is murder, second or first degree, probably depends on the situation, but I'm sure when that guy is aiming his riffle his intent is to kill--murder.
Less than an hour later I found myself signing back on to facebook to leave yet another response:
My deepest apologies. The more I've thought about what I wrote earlier, I realized I was arguing "right" vs. "wrong" and not "bad" vs. "good." Two TOTALLY different things.
Good thing I wasn't trying to argue that point in a law class...I would have SOOO been caught on that one!
I'll get back to my argument of "bad" vs. "good" later...I have it already in my mind, but gotta work, my co-worker that sits next to me just showed up! HA!
And that brings me to what I want to talk about in this entry, as well as to end with my answer to “do you truly believe the quote you have listed from hamlet”
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So is there a difference between right/wrong and good/bad?
I believe there is.
If you think about it, typically right/wrong is in reference to laws or rules or morals—something that clarifies one from the other. “This is right and this is wrong.” Do these have to be written rules? No. Typically morals are not written, but they still help to frame a person’s thought patterns around what is right and what is wrong behaviorally. Religiously speaking, many people gain their thought patterns about what is right and what is wrong from their biblical code.
So is right and wrong always clearly defined? No. Is what I believe to be right going to be what you believe to be right? Not necessarily. However, when discussing what’s “right” versus what’s “wrong” typically people will base their arguments off of laws or rules or morals or traditions—these sorts of backings.
When I think about good/bad I do not think of laws or rules or morals. When I think of how “good” and “bad” are used in our everyday conversations I see a reference to one’s opinions, or one’s judgments.
Good/bad are typically referenced to the situation at hand based on how the specific person interprets it at the time. Yes, many times one’s interpretations could be swayed one way or another by his/her beliefs of right versus wrong, but at the same time, their terming a situation or a behavior as “good” or “bad” is a judgment call. Let me give an example…
How about we use the great example of murder. Murder—many would argue it is “wrong.” There are many laws/rules/morals to back murder as “wrong.” So let’s look at it from “good” versus “bad.”
You woke up. You’re sipping your Saturday morning coffee while reading the newspaper only to read that your favorite corner gas station was robbed at gun point last night and the cashier was murdered in the monetary exchange with the thief. You think to yourself—that is “bad.” Murder—“bad.”
However…
You are late on your rent once again. You electric got turned off this morning and you have no money. You are driving around in your car trying to decide what to do. You see the 7-11 on the corner. It’s 1 AM. The streets are dead. You go in with intent of getting money to pay your bills. You get the money and knock off the cashier in the process so you can get away. You will get to pay your bills now! This is “good.” Murder—“good” because otherwise you might not have gotten out of the store with the money.
See how the same situation can be viewed differently depending on which perspective you are taking? In the same situation, one can see the murder as “good” while another sees it as “bad.” It’s a matter of one’s judgment and opinion which is influenced by how one looks at it.
Okay. That’s just one example. And I know many probably read that and thought to their selves, “murder is always ‘wrong.’ I just can’t follow you there.” So let’s try another example, one that the action taken is not necessarily “right” or “wrong” based on any written rules.
Your grocery shopping. Just about finished—thank goodness—when you happen down the cereal aisle to pick up a box of Raisin Bran when your 4 year old son spots the box of “Opps! All Berries Captain Crunch” that includes a free Buzzlightyear action figure! What 4-year-old in his right mind can pass that up?!?! Junior asks mom if he can have it, too which mom responds “no”—planning to grab the box of Raisin Bran and hit the registers with just enough time to get home to catch Oprah. Junior could careless about Oprah, and the next thing mom knows, he is kicking and screaming bloody-murder on the floor because he wants his action figure…OPPS…I mean healthy Captain Crunch, of course! ;) To save herself from excruciating embarrassment, as well as to see what new outfit Oprah will have on today, mom gives in: Buzzlightyear, Captain, berries and all.
To mom—the situation was “bad” because not only did her son embarrass her in public with his outlandish outcry, but mom also “gave in” to Junior once again without setting her boundaries. Dang kids! HA! ;)
To Junior—the situation was “good.” He got his way. Not only did he get his extreme sugar-rush box of flavored corn crap, but he also got the Buzzlightyear figurine that he will play with for one day before he breaks it and never looks at it again. Well worth the, what does cereal cost again nowadays--$5 a box! ;)
Okay, so maybe I’ve taken both of my examples to the extremes, but they were sure fun in sharing them! Extremes or not, I think they help to show my point that in the situations “good” or “bad” is determined by how you look at the situation. Even when an action that is considered “wrong” is performed, it can still be viewed as “good” if the person judges the situations as beneficial.
Murder = wrong.
Murder allows one to benefit = get money to pay one’s bills = “good”
Throwing a temper tantrum = wrong.
Throwing a temper tantrum = gets one his/her way = “good”
One’s judgment comes down to how one thinks.
So after giving it my day’s worth of thought…
I guess I do still stand behind my posted Hamlet quote…
"There is nothing either good or bad, but the thinking makes it so." ~Hamlet
…or at least until the next person questions me about it! ;)
It's Monday! YOU Do the Math!
This is a new blog series I will be starting for Mondays. Don’t worry; it isn’t going to involve you doing any specific math equations. I simply use math in the title to refer to the numbers that will be present in each entry in the series. Each entry will revolve around statistics of some sort—typically some interesting statistics I might have happened across recently and wanted to share. I suppose if you CHOOSE to do some math with the statistics I provide, that’s up to you!
I love statistics! Probably why I really enjoy research. Statistics interest me. They give me something to think about; however, I’m always cognitive of the idea that statistics can be misleading, skewed, discrediting, as well as made to look just about ANY way you want them too. And having said that, I want to warn here in the beginning that even as a lover of statistics, I am going to go against the first rule of being a statistician and say that some of the stats I will use in the entries of this series very well might not be from some of the most credible sources. Having said that, I will do my best to always provide WHERE I get the statistics from; therefore, allowing YOU to be the judge of how valid and reliable the information is.
Now, having explained the series let me begin with the first addition to the series…
This week I want to share something I read in a small “article” in the September 2006 edition of “O: The Oprah Magazine.” The article is on page 262 and is entitled, “Why We Think the Way We Do: A new book explains female intuition, long phone calls, love at first sight.” The title in its self got my attention and encouraged my read! But what it shared was snippets from the neurologist, Louann Brizendine’s, new book: “The Female Brain.” Below were some of the snippets that I found interesting…
Although male brains are larger by about 9 percent, women have the same number of brain cells packed more densely into a smaller skull.
Men use about 7,000 words a day, women about 20,000.
“Connecting through talking activates the pleasure centers in a girl’s brain…[providing] a major dopamine and oxytocin rush, which is the biggest, fattest neurological reward you can get outside of an orgasm.”
Men have two and a half times the brain space devoted to sexual drive as women do, as well as larger brain centers for action and aggression.
“Rejection, it turns out, actually hurts like physical pain because it triggers the same circuits in the brain.”
Men notice subtle signs of sadness in a face only 40 percent of the time; women pick up on them 90 percent of the time.
“Our brains size up a potential partner, and if he fits our ancestral wish list, we get a jolt of chemicals that dizzy us with a rush of laser-focused attraction.”
This was just a few of the snippets adapted, or quoted from “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine that were shared in this “O” magazine piece. The book sounds pretty interesting to me. Let me know if you’ve read it and if the whole book is as interesting as these bits and pieces.
What can I say, the female brain IS intriguing to me!
I love statistics! Probably why I really enjoy research. Statistics interest me. They give me something to think about; however, I’m always cognitive of the idea that statistics can be misleading, skewed, discrediting, as well as made to look just about ANY way you want them too. And having said that, I want to warn here in the beginning that even as a lover of statistics, I am going to go against the first rule of being a statistician and say that some of the stats I will use in the entries of this series very well might not be from some of the most credible sources. Having said that, I will do my best to always provide WHERE I get the statistics from; therefore, allowing YOU to be the judge of how valid and reliable the information is.
Now, having explained the series let me begin with the first addition to the series…
This week I want to share something I read in a small “article” in the September 2006 edition of “O: The Oprah Magazine.” The article is on page 262 and is entitled, “Why We Think the Way We Do: A new book explains female intuition, long phone calls, love at first sight.” The title in its self got my attention and encouraged my read! But what it shared was snippets from the neurologist, Louann Brizendine’s, new book: “The Female Brain.” Below were some of the snippets that I found interesting…
Although male brains are larger by about 9 percent, women have the same number of brain cells packed more densely into a smaller skull.
Men use about 7,000 words a day, women about 20,000.
“Connecting through talking activates the pleasure centers in a girl’s brain…[providing] a major dopamine and oxytocin rush, which is the biggest, fattest neurological reward you can get outside of an orgasm.”
Men have two and a half times the brain space devoted to sexual drive as women do, as well as larger brain centers for action and aggression.
“Rejection, it turns out, actually hurts like physical pain because it triggers the same circuits in the brain.”
Men notice subtle signs of sadness in a face only 40 percent of the time; women pick up on them 90 percent of the time.
“Our brains size up a potential partner, and if he fits our ancestral wish list, we get a jolt of chemicals that dizzy us with a rush of laser-focused attraction.”
This was just a few of the snippets adapted, or quoted from “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine that were shared in this “O” magazine piece. The book sounds pretty interesting to me. Let me know if you’ve read it and if the whole book is as interesting as these bits and pieces.
What can I say, the female brain IS intriguing to me!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
825 Alive Reunion...among other things...
825 Alive...
...it's the reference to the four gals who lived in the University Park Apartment #825 during my junior and senior year of my undergraduate college career.
With Friday being August 25th (8-25) we decided it was destined for an 825 Alive reunion! We hadn't all gotten together since our Christmas get together last year. We planned to catch a Ranger's baseball game and then all go to see Sarah's new house and spend the night.
It was when we got to the parking lot to begin the trek to the stadium that Erin broke the news of her recent engagement! It of course was a time of extreme celebration for our group! We were SO happy for her--not to mention blown away by the beauty and sparkle of the ring!! You can see pictures of her fiance on her myspace page which is here. OH, and for those of you who are thinking to their your selves the "big question" let me answer it for you...
...they didn't meet online! ;)
OH...I mean the OTHER "big question"....
...they are planning for the wedding to be next summer.
So we spent a good period of time getting the story of how they met, how he asked her parents, how he proposed (which is a CLASSIC story...all I'll say is that she had a side-ponytail and "big bangs" when it happened...THAT's our Erin...we LOVE her!), and how she was careful to not get shaving cream on the ring while teaching...HA! It was somewhere among these stories that I remember leaning over to Jackie Beth and saying, "Well, this is going to make half of 825 Alive married and half not." She laughed and agreed, and I said, "But hey, we can at least say we are single because we are both still doing school...HA!" Once again, she laughed and agreed.
After watching a miserable Ranger's game we were off to see our sole, for the time being, married "roommate" of the groups new house.
I knew she had moved, though I wasn't real sure where too. I was under the impression that it was not too far from where they used to live in North Richland Hills. Wrong. I like Jackie's description the best...
"Well, remember when Sarah used to say she lived in Houston, when she was actually in Alvin. Yes, she lives in the metroplex." ;)
After driving down some winding and dark roads for quite some time, I figured I was about to go around a turn to see a sign that said, "Abilene 10 miles," but I didn't. We eventually made it to apparently Haslet, Texas, which I had never heard of till now. But yes, it IS still part of the metroplex!
No, really, it wasn't that bad to get out there. It just seemed longer and out in the middle of no where because it was night time when we went out there. Coming home the next morning was different. Not bad.
As for the house. Really cute! I have to say, it seems like a great starter house for a couple! Being the daughter of a carpenter (and we ain't talking Jesus here), I can have a lot of appreciation for a house's layout. This house was laid out nicely. I must say, the master bedroom door going off the living room is different, but not bad. I think that is something I could find to be nice, but like I said, it just seemed unusual. But I loved the openness of the kitchen/dining/living areas. Very nice! Gotta say, nice place Sarah and Brock!
What a good time it was for us to all be together again. It is when I get back together with these girls that I am so easily reminded that friends truly ARE like family...
I mean, I spent two years of my life living in a "house" with these ladies. That IS like being a family. You become so comfortable around one another when you do something like that. You find yourself not even considering impressing one another, or looking "cute," or caring what the others think because you're like a family and you realize whether you woke up that morning looking like total crap, they are only gonna laugh WITH YOU about your hair and then you'll forget it over your bowls of cheerios together while you watch some totally USELESS show on TLC. That's what family friends are for!
So 825 Alive Reunion was a success!
Erin informed us she was engaged.
Sarah showed us her new house.
And Jackie Beth informed me that she does not have a myspace page either!
Such great things. I must say, if you are wanting to do something with me next August 25th, I have to inform you, I've already got plans...
...825 Alive Reunion II. =)
--------------------------------------------------------
[This is where I need to cover the "among other things" part of this post. This part will make some connections to points that presented earlier in the post. The random colored words are where the connections are coming from.]
Myspace--
I do not have a myspace. I am not going to go into WHY I don't have one on this post, but what I am going to talk about is the fact that I really rarely go look at people's myspace pages. With that being the case, I will say that even though just about EVERYONE I know HAS a myspace page, I only have 4 people's pages bookmarked on my computer. Each of these 4 are bookmarked for a specific reason, and if you think it is probably your page that I have bookmarked, you're probably wrong. HA! Whatever the case, I want to share ONE of the pages I have bookmarked and she knows I have her bookmarked because I told her when I did it and why I did it. This page is my buddy Ellison's myspace.
Low and behold, I knew it was a dark night the night that she IMed me to tell me she was "giving in" (funny how everyone seems to "give in" to that myspace business. What a great backer for your company--"People 'give in' to our business!"...anyways...). I bookmarked her site partly to see how quickly she became addicted (a sick research-oriented side of me), as well as to follow how much she gave into the "have as many friends as you possibly can GET" aspect of the "business." Oh and don't even BEGIN to act like you don't have people on your myspace that you don't hardly know, or even don't consider your "friend" in real life because you don't actually LIKE them! HA! Whatever the case, I am bringing up Ellison's myspace page for this reason...
...and that is to give her my award for the BEST music on her myspace site! I have to say, in the time that she has had the site, I think she has only had two songs on it and both have turned into addictions for me at their times. The first was that KT Tunstall's "Black Horse & The Cherry Tree." I know I must have been out of the loop, but I hadn't heard of that song until I listened to it on her site and I was quickly addicted. Fun and catchy song! It is now among my Top 25 Most Played songs on my iPod.
And while I have gotten to the point that that one is less played lately for me, her newest song on her page is my new addiction. Once again, maybe my lack of "paying attention" for some reason I did not know this song either until I listened to it from her page--now I'm addicted. This second song is "The Adventure" by Angels & Airwaves.
With both these songs, now that I have heard them off her site, I have been hearing both of them more and more. That's fun! I must say, good song taste, Ellison!
we are single because--
Why is it that people around my age feel like we have to have an "excuse" for "still" being single? Why did I feel such an impulse to defend JB and my single status immediately like I did in that conversation? Why do women especially feel such a pressure to be getting engaged and married when they are in their 20s?
I guess to give out an award for fighting the pressures of "it's 'bad' to be single" I would give my award to "Jules" for her contribution to the fact that people CAN be in their 20s AND be happy AND be single all at the same time. Her contribution can be seen here.
a house's layout--I can have SOOO much appreciation for a place of residency that is build with a good layout. I can remember one time when I was a young kid, taking my dad's architecture stencils and drawboard and drawing up the floorplan for my "dream house" that I wanted to build myself one day. It was BEAUTIFUL! Two or three floors if I remember correctly. I don't remember a LOT about it, but I DO remember that it had an indoor swimming pool! Maybe my plans were to teach myself to swim SOME day! HA!
Whatever the case, I remember that the pool was on the second floor...HA! So maybe I wasn't the BEST at laying out a house when I was like 10 years old...HA! But today I can truly appreciate a nice floor plan!
Being a person in my mid-twenties, I have SEVERAL friends who live in apartment type residencies. With this being the case, I've surveyed how many different apartment complexes have laid out their living spaces. One plan that I do not care for is the one that has the only bathroom facility off the bedroom of the apartment. Now whoever came up with that floor plan either A) had a social phobia so never had people over to their apartment, or B) they loved people coming through their (apparently ALWAYS kept clean) bedroom.
However, on the other end of the spectrum, out of the different apartments I've seen over the years, the one I for some strange reason fell in LOVE with its layout was, strangely enough, one that I only saw one time, and it's been so long aog, that I honestly don't even remember EXACTLY the layout, but I'll never forget that I LOVED it when I saw it that once.
My award for the BEST laid out apartment goes to JWalk's first apartment in the North Irving area. Honestly, I don't recall what it was about it that I loved, but I just remember that it was a really nice floor plan for a two-bedroom apartment.
does not have a myspace--
I have to go back to the topic of myspace once more, because my new found information that Jackie Beth does NOT have a myspace page was QUITE the delight of my weekend! Explaination...
When that dark night came that Ellison informed me that she had "given in" I had to do another inventory. At that point I knew of one more of my friends that did not have a myspace page. Luckily for me, I was pretty confident with this friend that I would never be alone in the battle against "Tom" the myspace man. [You'll get that last sentence most likely because YOU have a myspace page]. Anyways...I was like, "you know, I'm a strong kid, but it's good to know that there IS someone else out there that does not have a myspace page." So it was okay...I watched Ellison's page change, and "friends" be added, and listened to her songs, and then downloaded her songs...HA!
But then it came: then the darkest night of the year came. It was like tight-rolling your pants going out of style. It was like "Friends" going to all reruns. It was like being left at the alter. It was like being given your final exam and your mind going blank...
...my last friend "gave in" and I didn't know what to do. I kind of starred at the IM message in disbelief and responded with "Wow. I don't know what to say."
Somewhere after a couple more "wows" I just remember saying I had to go and then I "signed off." I didn't know what to do. I was officially "alone."
What did this mean? Well of course it mean that the army of people telling me "you should really make a myspace page" had grown. And the number of people using the excuse of "so-and-so convinced me to do it, so I gave in" grew. And the number of people stalking others online grew. But it also meant I would have to be strong alone.
Luckily it didn't take me long to remind myself of the times when I have been strong in the past, and to remind myself that I made it through those times and that I could make it through this "myspace craze" phase also.
But still I was the only person I knew left who wasn't on myspace...
...until the confession by Jackie Beth some time after 1 AM when we were talking as we tried to fall asleep. It came somewhere between our comments of both LOVING the Taco Bell 7-layer burrito and the thought that we both wondered if we were going to wake up to the next morning having Sarah's dog having passed away. Somewhere in there she informed me that she did not have an myspace page, which I had just always assumed she did have one, as the others of the 825 Alive group do. It was then that I realized that I was not alone anymore! And I thought to myself...
...if JB, the girl that probably knows more people than anyone I know, can resist the pressures of her friends to "giving in" then so can I! HA! Great philosophy, huh!? ;)
So there you have it. My 825 Alive Reunion and the random thoughts that go along with it!
...it's the reference to the four gals who lived in the University Park Apartment #825 during my junior and senior year of my undergraduate college career.
With Friday being August 25th (8-25) we decided it was destined for an 825 Alive reunion! We hadn't all gotten together since our Christmas get together last year. We planned to catch a Ranger's baseball game and then all go to see Sarah's new house and spend the night.
It was when we got to the parking lot to begin the trek to the stadium that Erin broke the news of her recent engagement! It of course was a time of extreme celebration for our group! We were SO happy for her--not to mention blown away by the beauty and sparkle of the ring!! You can see pictures of her fiance on her myspace page which is here. OH, and for those of you who are thinking to their your selves the "big question" let me answer it for you...
...they didn't meet online! ;)
OH...I mean the OTHER "big question"....
...they are planning for the wedding to be next summer.
So we spent a good period of time getting the story of how they met, how he asked her parents, how he proposed (which is a CLASSIC story...all I'll say is that she had a side-ponytail and "big bangs" when it happened...THAT's our Erin...we LOVE her!), and how she was careful to not get shaving cream on the ring while teaching...HA! It was somewhere among these stories that I remember leaning over to Jackie Beth and saying, "Well, this is going to make half of 825 Alive married and half not." She laughed and agreed, and I said, "But hey, we can at least say we are single because we are both still doing school...HA!" Once again, she laughed and agreed.
After watching a miserable Ranger's game we were off to see our sole, for the time being, married "roommate" of the groups new house.
I knew she had moved, though I wasn't real sure where too. I was under the impression that it was not too far from where they used to live in North Richland Hills. Wrong. I like Jackie's description the best...
"Well, remember when Sarah used to say she lived in Houston, when she was actually in Alvin. Yes, she lives in the metroplex." ;)
After driving down some winding and dark roads for quite some time, I figured I was about to go around a turn to see a sign that said, "Abilene 10 miles," but I didn't. We eventually made it to apparently Haslet, Texas, which I had never heard of till now. But yes, it IS still part of the metroplex!
No, really, it wasn't that bad to get out there. It just seemed longer and out in the middle of no where because it was night time when we went out there. Coming home the next morning was different. Not bad.
As for the house. Really cute! I have to say, it seems like a great starter house for a couple! Being the daughter of a carpenter (and we ain't talking Jesus here), I can have a lot of appreciation for a house's layout. This house was laid out nicely. I must say, the master bedroom door going off the living room is different, but not bad. I think that is something I could find to be nice, but like I said, it just seemed unusual. But I loved the openness of the kitchen/dining/living areas. Very nice! Gotta say, nice place Sarah and Brock!
What a good time it was for us to all be together again. It is when I get back together with these girls that I am so easily reminded that friends truly ARE like family...
I mean, I spent two years of my life living in a "house" with these ladies. That IS like being a family. You become so comfortable around one another when you do something like that. You find yourself not even considering impressing one another, or looking "cute," or caring what the others think because you're like a family and you realize whether you woke up that morning looking like total crap, they are only gonna laugh WITH YOU about your hair and then you'll forget it over your bowls of cheerios together while you watch some totally USELESS show on TLC. That's what family friends are for!
So 825 Alive Reunion was a success!
Erin informed us she was engaged.
Sarah showed us her new house.
And Jackie Beth informed me that she does not have a myspace page either!
Such great things. I must say, if you are wanting to do something with me next August 25th, I have to inform you, I've already got plans...
...825 Alive Reunion II. =)
--------------------------------------------------------
[This is where I need to cover the "among other things" part of this post. This part will make some connections to points that presented earlier in the post. The random colored words are where the connections are coming from.]
Myspace--
I do not have a myspace. I am not going to go into WHY I don't have one on this post, but what I am going to talk about is the fact that I really rarely go look at people's myspace pages. With that being the case, I will say that even though just about EVERYONE I know HAS a myspace page, I only have 4 people's pages bookmarked on my computer. Each of these 4 are bookmarked for a specific reason, and if you think it is probably your page that I have bookmarked, you're probably wrong. HA! Whatever the case, I want to share ONE of the pages I have bookmarked and she knows I have her bookmarked because I told her when I did it and why I did it. This page is my buddy Ellison's myspace.
Low and behold, I knew it was a dark night the night that she IMed me to tell me she was "giving in" (funny how everyone seems to "give in" to that myspace business. What a great backer for your company--"People 'give in' to our business!"...anyways...). I bookmarked her site partly to see how quickly she became addicted (a sick research-oriented side of me), as well as to follow how much she gave into the "have as many friends as you possibly can GET" aspect of the "business." Oh and don't even BEGIN to act like you don't have people on your myspace that you don't hardly know, or even don't consider your "friend" in real life because you don't actually LIKE them! HA! Whatever the case, I am bringing up Ellison's myspace page for this reason...
...and that is to give her my award for the BEST music on her myspace site! I have to say, in the time that she has had the site, I think she has only had two songs on it and both have turned into addictions for me at their times. The first was that KT Tunstall's "Black Horse & The Cherry Tree." I know I must have been out of the loop, but I hadn't heard of that song until I listened to it on her site and I was quickly addicted. Fun and catchy song! It is now among my Top 25 Most Played songs on my iPod.
And while I have gotten to the point that that one is less played lately for me, her newest song on her page is my new addiction. Once again, maybe my lack of "paying attention" for some reason I did not know this song either until I listened to it from her page--now I'm addicted. This second song is "The Adventure" by Angels & Airwaves.
With both these songs, now that I have heard them off her site, I have been hearing both of them more and more. That's fun! I must say, good song taste, Ellison!
we are single because--
Why is it that people around my age feel like we have to have an "excuse" for "still" being single? Why did I feel such an impulse to defend JB and my single status immediately like I did in that conversation? Why do women especially feel such a pressure to be getting engaged and married when they are in their 20s?
I guess to give out an award for fighting the pressures of "it's 'bad' to be single" I would give my award to "Jules" for her contribution to the fact that people CAN be in their 20s AND be happy AND be single all at the same time. Her contribution can be seen here.
a house's layout--I can have SOOO much appreciation for a place of residency that is build with a good layout. I can remember one time when I was a young kid, taking my dad's architecture stencils and drawboard and drawing up the floorplan for my "dream house" that I wanted to build myself one day. It was BEAUTIFUL! Two or three floors if I remember correctly. I don't remember a LOT about it, but I DO remember that it had an indoor swimming pool! Maybe my plans were to teach myself to swim SOME day! HA!
Whatever the case, I remember that the pool was on the second floor...HA! So maybe I wasn't the BEST at laying out a house when I was like 10 years old...HA! But today I can truly appreciate a nice floor plan!
Being a person in my mid-twenties, I have SEVERAL friends who live in apartment type residencies. With this being the case, I've surveyed how many different apartment complexes have laid out their living spaces. One plan that I do not care for is the one that has the only bathroom facility off the bedroom of the apartment. Now whoever came up with that floor plan either A) had a social phobia so never had people over to their apartment, or B) they loved people coming through their (apparently ALWAYS kept clean) bedroom.
However, on the other end of the spectrum, out of the different apartments I've seen over the years, the one I for some strange reason fell in LOVE with its layout was, strangely enough, one that I only saw one time, and it's been so long aog, that I honestly don't even remember EXACTLY the layout, but I'll never forget that I LOVED it when I saw it that once.
My award for the BEST laid out apartment goes to JWalk's first apartment in the North Irving area. Honestly, I don't recall what it was about it that I loved, but I just remember that it was a really nice floor plan for a two-bedroom apartment.
does not have a myspace--
I have to go back to the topic of myspace once more, because my new found information that Jackie Beth does NOT have a myspace page was QUITE the delight of my weekend! Explaination...
When that dark night came that Ellison informed me that she had "given in" I had to do another inventory. At that point I knew of one more of my friends that did not have a myspace page. Luckily for me, I was pretty confident with this friend that I would never be alone in the battle against "Tom" the myspace man. [You'll get that last sentence most likely because YOU have a myspace page]. Anyways...I was like, "you know, I'm a strong kid, but it's good to know that there IS someone else out there that does not have a myspace page." So it was okay...I watched Ellison's page change, and "friends" be added, and listened to her songs, and then downloaded her songs...HA!
But then it came: then the darkest night of the year came. It was like tight-rolling your pants going out of style. It was like "Friends" going to all reruns. It was like being left at the alter. It was like being given your final exam and your mind going blank...
...my last friend "gave in" and I didn't know what to do. I kind of starred at the IM message in disbelief and responded with "Wow. I don't know what to say."
Somewhere after a couple more "wows" I just remember saying I had to go and then I "signed off." I didn't know what to do. I was officially "alone."
What did this mean? Well of course it mean that the army of people telling me "you should really make a myspace page" had grown. And the number of people using the excuse of "so-and-so convinced me to do it, so I gave in" grew. And the number of people stalking others online grew. But it also meant I would have to be strong alone.
Luckily it didn't take me long to remind myself of the times when I have been strong in the past, and to remind myself that I made it through those times and that I could make it through this "myspace craze" phase also.
But still I was the only person I knew left who wasn't on myspace...
...until the confession by Jackie Beth some time after 1 AM when we were talking as we tried to fall asleep. It came somewhere between our comments of both LOVING the Taco Bell 7-layer burrito and the thought that we both wondered if we were going to wake up to the next morning having Sarah's dog having passed away. Somewhere in there she informed me that she did not have an myspace page, which I had just always assumed she did have one, as the others of the 825 Alive group do. It was then that I realized that I was not alone anymore! And I thought to myself...
...if JB, the girl that probably knows more people than anyone I know, can resist the pressures of her friends to "giving in" then so can I! HA! Great philosophy, huh!? ;)
So there you have it. My 825 Alive Reunion and the random thoughts that go along with it!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Questions On My Mind...
Here are a few questions I have had cross my mind lately. I think all of them could develop into nice blog topics, but for the current time, I'll leave them as this: just some questions to put out there to ponder and think about in your free time.
Feel free to leave your thoughts on any of them if you should feel so desired...
1. Have you ever met a homosexual that does not claim they were born that way? Have you ever met a heterosexual that does not claim they were born that way? Why do we simply accept one group for their claims and question the other?
2. Do men ever get upset with their wives who choose to be "homemakers," especially when there are no children in the picture? Do they ever think to their selves, "free-loaders!?"
3. Do you think John Mark Karr is satisfied with the attention he has gained yet? I mean, I have had some real eye-openers lately to people seeking attention, but this is taking the cake. I'm pretty sure he is innocent.
Feel free to leave your thoughts on any of them if you should feel so desired...
1. Have you ever met a homosexual that does not claim they were born that way? Have you ever met a heterosexual that does not claim they were born that way? Why do we simply accept one group for their claims and question the other?
2. Do men ever get upset with their wives who choose to be "homemakers," especially when there are no children in the picture? Do they ever think to their selves, "free-loaders!?"
3. Do you think John Mark Karr is satisfied with the attention he has gained yet? I mean, I have had some real eye-openers lately to people seeking attention, but this is taking the cake. I'm pretty sure he is innocent.
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