Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Some Thoughts...

Okay, we all know this is NOT something I would write, so instead it is something my friend “Kelly” has written and I thought I’d just post it on here to help “her” out and get some thoughts on the matter… ;)

Here are “her” thoughts and feelings and “she” is just looking for some thoughts and reflections on the matters…

What do you do when you find yourself in a situation when you have a guy that likes you (as more than a friend), and you find yourself thinking to yourself that you really don’t have those same feelings toward him at the current time. When you aren’t with him you think to yourself, he isn’t really “the one” for you in “that” sense, so you need to let him know that, but at the same time, you find yourself thinking, how much you enjoy being with him when you are with him. So in other words, when you’re with him you think, “I do enjoy being with you, maybe it will just take time.”

You wonder, “Will liking him ‘like that’ possibly grow over time?” or is that one of those things that if it isn’t there in the beginning the train probably ain’t comin’?

Then you find yourself looking at the guy (not literally, of course) and thinking to yourself, “that really isn’t anything like the ‘picture’ I had always seen drawn up for me all along. The ‘picture’ of the guy I had always wanted to see myself with.” The things you always thought were what you would find in the man you’d want to be there aren’t really there, but at the same time the things that ARE there aren’t, so to say, “bad”—just not what you expected or had always “planned” on.

Many would say, “Well, maybe the ‘perfect guy’ is something you came up with in your head, but he really doesn’t exist.” “Kelly” doesn’t know, but she told me that the things she had always “planned for” in a guy do exist in a guy she knows, but at the same time, “she” does not see herself ever being with that guy. [“Kelly’s” really strange, but she doesn’t read this, so I can say that and she’ll never know.] “She” even told me that once she asked this guy who seemed to be the kind of guy she had always seen herself with (and is the type of guy she would like to be with), if he thought he was unique and that there really weren’t more guys out there like him. Unfortunately, he said he did see himself as different from most guys. I guess this means momma’s right when she tells her baby just how “special” and “unique” they are! HA! ;)

“Kelly” likes to argue the debate of “settling.”

What is “settling?” Are you “settling” if you go for any guy other than the one you had always thought you’d find yourself with someday? The one you’d always “pictured” yourself with. Isn’t “settling” meaning you are accepting “less” as “fine?” What if the guy you find yourself with isn’t necessarily “less” in your mind, just “different?”—not what you expected, so to say.

I guess it could be the state of the guy not meeting the “pictured” description that had been drawn-up for OH so many years that could be keeping the liking him “like that” from occurring. Possible? Probably, but does that mean overcoming the idea of what the “picture” should look like would mean the deeper interest in the “not pictured” guy will just come about? Or should one even consider “overcoming” the “picture?”

“Kelly” has too many thoughts. I told her that already. She agreed to let me end this passage with the comment that she can and will understand if none of this made sense, because I told her I’d just do my best to express it as I seemed to interpret it from “her.”

What can I say? Difficult clients?? ;)


A. Lo said...

Nah, it totally makes sense. I have to admit that I don't personally have much good advice on the subject, as I am confused about the very same thing.

However, I have heard that if you have certain "standards", and they aren't met, then you'll be forever disappointed about that. And it's better to be alone than constantly disappointed, expecting your partner to be someone they're not.

Also, chemistry is a funny thing, and I have rarely found it to "mature" or "appear". But then again, I'm a weird over-thinker as well.

FeedingYourMind said...

A. Lo: Thanks for your response. I appreciate your comments and they will help me in my continuous thoughts on this matter...OPPS...I mean I'm sure they will help "Kelly" out! ;)