Friday, December 26, 2008
Now go check your vehicles tires and let's see what years we all happen to have on our cars currently. This might let us know if we are due for some new tires!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
These have been fascinations of mine for many years -- it is percisely why I chose to go the route I did with my education. It's probably what's drove me to be the total over-thinker that I am in life -- I'm constantly thinking about things (and sometimes it causes me problems...HA!)
When considering the blog realm it's always interested me in what types of topics different people choose to write on on their blogs. Some people use their blogs mostly for sharing their life via photographs to their loved ones. Some people use their blog to give updates on what is going on in their life. Still others use their blog as a forum for topics of discussion. Whatever the case, I think you can learn a lot about a person through his/her blog. What they write about; how they write about it; as well as, how they setup their blog in order to write about it. I mean look at blogs designs -- one can create his/her blog layout that is personal for them. People choose who they want linked on their sidebar on their blog. They can also even choose who they want to be able to respond on their blog. So many ways to personalize one's blog.
For me, I can often find myself taking all of these sorts of things into consideration as I'm yearning to learn more about a person. Why would one choose to link an individual on their blog for a long time, then one day decide to not link them anymore? Is it that that person hasn't blogged in a while, so the person feels the link is a "dead-end" to send his/her readers, as the linked blog is no longer being updated? Or is it that the blog author feels the linked blog is not one they want associated with his/her blog anymore due to a disagreement in views or beliefs? So many possibilities.
What about comment moderation? Why would one choose to moderate who could comment on his/her blog? Does one not want cursing on their blog? Does one feel a need to have ultimate control? Does one fear if he/she does not "approve" each comment first, a comment might arise on his/her blog which one might disagree with? Does one find it hard to even listen to other views other than his/her own? Is one so set in his/her beliefs that anything that might stray from them is ultimately "wrong", thus it has no place among the "right"?
So much is left up to wonder when we look at people's actions in life. It's a sense of excitement for an individual like myself to question and wonder why we do what we do. I truly believe we all have some justification for all our actions, even if we are not consciously aware of it at the time of performance.
As for me...allow me to explain some parts of MY blog.
For instance, I offer a sidebar of links to individuals blogs on my blog. I've taken off different individuals' links to their blogs in the past. My justificiation for this action is that it's someone's blog that has become stagnant -- in that it is frequently, if ever updated. I referred to this earlier as the "dead-end" links.
As for comment moderation on my blog, you'll see I have none. What I've found interesting is that I've never had to use this function as I've always been open to accepting individual's comments on whatever topic I might happen to be addressing that day. Have I been careful to only post on topics I felt would not offer an array of opinions? Of course, not. I'm pretty sure if anyone was to venture out among my many posts on this blog, one would quickly learn that I've openly discussed many topics that bring out the most far right and left opinions on the matter. I've never been one to shy away from peoples' disagreements and differing opinions. Matter of fact, I love that sort of stuff. I enjoy a good debate.
Would I moderate my comments if someone started cussing? I don't believe so. I can't say I've had that, but I don't see how that would bother me, because if anything I would just see that as another opportunity to begin wondering why that person would choose to react in such a way. Why did that person feel the urge to use those words? I've definately had times in my life when I've cussed and I can look back on those times and understand what was going on with me at the time that lead me to use the words I did.
It's all just so intriguing to me.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Right now I'm just relaxing after what's been a long day of events and hanging with friends. A large part of this included attending the homecoming football game (which we won). While I was there, I happened to notice this lady sitting nearby who immediately made me think I had moved into the future and seen one of my best friends 5 to 7 years down the road with a kid of her own...
What do you think?
Monday, October 13, 2008
I've now ended two sentences with the word "is" and that's not like me when writing. I decided to post this tonight because I remember one of the last time I was really depressed it took admitting and really opening up about it to be able to overcome it. So I thought tonight, though I've been admitting it to people lately that I feel stressed and depressed, I don't think that's been enough. So I'm going to post this, and see if this might be the step it takes to overcome.
I sure hope so. I'm hating this.
BTW...I've kinda used this blog as one of my confirming factors as to accepting I "must" be depressed....I mean look, this is the longest I think I've ever gone without blogging (i.e. at first I couldn't even remember where to go to login in ORDER to post...it's pathetic, I know). Anyways, it's a symptom of depression to show a lack of interest in things you previously enjoyed. Yeah, that's me and my not writing in my blog (not to mention other things in my life...HA!)
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Several minutes into the delay the situation began to pan-out before me. What I saw up-ahead was an exit ramp coming off the interstate I was on, which had been blocked off. It was just beyond that police line that I noticed an interstate bridge towering over that exit ramp which had several police cars with lights flashing up on it and then several police officers standing on the bridge, outside their cars. It was then that I glanced to the right of them and noticed about 20 or 30 feet away a dark looking shadow was on the edge of the bridge. As I continued to roll ever so closer in our crawling traffic situation, the dark shadow was revealed. It was a man who was sitting over the bridge edge and preparing to jump. It was all making sense to me now...that interstate bridge and the interstate exit ramps below had all been cleared to handle the situation of a potential suicide jump.
Thankfully, I didn't witness the individual jump; and I am uncertain about what ended up happening in the situation, as I ended up moving past the scene as traffic continued to crawl along.
Did the man jump? And if so, did he survive? Were the police able to convince the man that suicide was a permanent form of relief for the pain he was obviously suffering at the time; rather than a temporary relief?
I don't know what became of the situation, but I do know we all can find ourselves in situations where we want a sense of relief. It's at those points where we need one another the most. And it's when we do find ourselves in those situations and we commonly feel as if we don't have anyone to turn to, that we need resources like 1(800)SUICIDE.
It's been within the past month that I had a client share with me how they turned to a crisis hotline for someone to talk to when they were having a rough time. These options are life savers -- literally.
Let's help in whatever ways we can...
One year ago today I lost a close friend in a murder-suicide. Her husband shot and killed her, and then killed himself. These sort of things can and need to be prevented. Let's reach out and help one another. Let's give hope!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Here's you a taste of Mr. Poe. I think you'll agree with me, in that he has very creative ways to get his points across! =)
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
That's it. I just wanted to share that picture because when I saw it a couple minutes ago, I just couldn't get over how disturbing it was for a non-gory picture.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
So once I heard Ms. Lewis for that first time, I too, like Simon, fell in love with her...her voice is INCREDIBLE. She sounds a lot like Mrs. Cannon (AKA Mariah Carey...HA HA!). I've ALWAYS thought Mariah has had one of the best voices of all times (that doesn't mean I think she's the coolest artist of all times, because she DEFINATELY has some attitude/diva issues I don't think too highly of...HA!). Anyways, from what I hear, the 23-year old new artist is such a sweetheart and quite the humble young lady -- something that's respectful among big-names (let's see if it can last).
After hearing her on Oprah I wanted to get her cd as soon as it was released in America, but it turned out that I didn't purchase it until this past weekend. Nonetheless, it's A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, just as I had expected!
This woman has unbelievable vocals, but besides that, the words to her songs are ones that hit you. They make you listen to them and they tell the story; the story of our lives.
As I've been making my way through listening to all the tracks I got caught-up in the lyrics of the 9th track on the disc yesterday when driving to my second job. I found myself having to start it over and turn up the volume and pay close attention to the words...
I was immediately reminded of the close friend I lost this past summer. I began playing it over and over. At points I got so wrapped up in the words and reflections on my friend that I found my eyes watering.
"Yesterday" (the 9th track) is one of those PERFECT songs for the background music in a slideshow that is played when someone passes away. [HA HA! I know I sound all morbid, but I've had soo much experience making picture slideshows that are accompanied with music that when I hear a song, I immediately think of how the lyrics are and if they'd go in a slideshow of any sort (i.e. weddings, parties, honors, funerals, etc.).] It's a beautiful song!
I immediately found myself calling one of my coworkers, who was also really close to the friend that we lost last year, and I told her I had to let her hear the song when I got back to work the next day. When I did share it with her today at work, it took a lot for her to hold back from crying, and she was like, "see, I wouldn't be able to listen to that song more than once because I'd just cry everytime." She thought I was kinda weird for saying I've listened to it over and over and over since discovering it on the cd. But I told her the way I look at it is, "yes, it's still sad that we lost our friend, but I like to think of the positive and look at how the song's point is to remember even death can't take away the great memories we have with that person. That I like to smile when I listen to the song and think of my friend because it makes me think of all the great times that of 'yesterday' that we'll always have."
It's a BEAUTIFUL song, and I'd recommend it to people who have lost people close to them. Don't be surprised if you find yourself crying, because it really is a touching song...the lyrics are so real. Here is some video that someone made to the song. This way you can hear the song...and below it I've pasted the lyrics (and actually, I don't know that I'd suggest watching the video clip the first time you listen to the song. I'd say start the clip so the song plays and then just follow along the lyrics so you focus on the words. Then if you want to go back and watch the video part the second time, do that).
I just can't believe your gone
Still waiting for morning to come
When I see if the sun will rise
Even without you by my side
Well we had so much in store
Tell me what is it I'm reaching for
When were through building memories
I'll hold yesterday in my heart
In my heart
They can take tomorrow
And the plans we made
They can take the music
That we'll never play
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away
But they can never have yesterday
They can take the future
That we'll never know
They can take the places
That we said we would go
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away
But they can never have yesterday
You always used to say
I should be thankful for everyday
Heaven knows what the future holds
Or at least how the story goes
(but I never believed them 'til now)
I know I'll see you again I'm sure
No it's not selfish to ask for more
One more night one more day
One more smile on your face
But they can't take yesterday
I thought our days would last forever
(but it wasn't our destiny)
'Cause in my mind we had so much time
But I was so wrong
Now I can believe that I can still find
The strengh in the moments we made
I'm looking back on yesterday
All the broken dreams take everything
But they can never have yesterday
Now, that isn't the only song I've fallen in love with from the cd. Like I said, it's an AMAZING cd. So here are some of my other favorites right now...
Of course, #1 "Bleeding Love" but also, #2 "Better in Time", #3 "I Will Be", #11 "Take a Bow", #12 "Footprints in the Sand", and #13 "Here I Am".
"Here I Am" really touched me just tonight. It was actually what pushed me into going ahead and writing this blog entry tonight. I have thought yesterday how I wanted to write it because I was so touched by the song "Yesterday" but I didn't take the time to do it. But then tonight when I found myself stopping and replaying #13 to pay closer attention to the lyrics because I had heard something that was said in them and it made me think of one of my close friends right now. As I replayed and listened to the whole song I was struck with it..."yet again, another amazing song that represents a piece of my life!"
I recommend looking up this song and reading the lyrics and dedicating it to any close friend you have that is going through a tough time and you want them to know you are always there for them.
Sing on, Ms. Lewis!
First, my cousin, Johnny, and my close friend, Misty, are both celebrating their 25th birthday's today. Both of them were born on Friday the 13th...
...enough said. ;)
Finally, I want to wish Belinda a WONDERFUL 50th anniversary of her birth! I actually don't know Belinda personally (we've never met), but I've been honored to have her reading my blog for quite sometime now (I don't even know how long ago it was that you started reading, Belinda, but I do know it's been a while) and I've greatly appreciated all the comments she's left!
Whether you're celebrating a quarter of a century in life experiences or half, may your day be blessed and filled with many wonderful memories and smiles!
Sunday, May 04, 2008
First, I saw the following on some Postsecret cards a while back that were in a Postsecret video clip that was posted on YouTube. I really "felt" these sayings...
"Sometimes we put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down."
"I like to stay up late on the computer and look for answers."
"I think God is just a big placebo."
"People don't realize how lucky they are to have friends who genuinely care about their well being. My secret is that I don't have any."
"I don't fear being touched... HUG ME... I fear being let go."
Each of these touched me for different reasons. Some made me think of people I know. Some made me say, "Hmmm..." Others made me feel for the person writing the card.
I love Postsecret!
Speaking of Postsecret. I actually printed off one of the cards (two weeks ago I guess it was) and mailed it with a note to someone. I couldn't help but think of that person IMMEDIATELY when I read the card. I immediately wished it had been sent in to Postsecret by the person I mailed it too, but I couldn't help but feel the hope slip away when I realized that wasn't that person's handwriting that was on the actual card. Nonetheless, I wanted that person to know I thought of them and desperately wished it had been from them.
A couple of the other post-it notes I have have some stats written on them. They were actually from a gameshow that came out some MANY months ago, and the show was called "The Power of Ten." I'm not sure if it's on air anymore (I'm pretty sure it's not); however, it did seem like a pretty interesting gameshow to me.
Anyways, about the show...
The show had gone out and taken surveys of the general public and had them answer random questions and then the gameshow contestant had to guess and see how close to the correct percentage of people answered the survey questions a particular way. [Note: Okay, maybe I didn't explain that just right, but whatever.]
Below are some of the resulting percentage statistics from the surveys that I found interesting...
A.) 33% of Americans surveyed say they believe that September 11th should be a national holiday.
B.) 81% of the parents surveyed said that if they were asked by their child they would tell them the truth about how old they were when they lost their virginity.
C.) 19% of Americans surveyed said they think the world would be a better place if America ruled it.
I think if you go to the gameshow's website, you can see more questions and statistics from the show.
Finally, I got this last quote off an Oprah episode I watched several weeks back. And honestly, I can't even remember what the show was about, but I do remember that this quote came from a mother. Her daughter was in jail and the mother was telling about how she had dedicated herself to being encouraging and motivating to her daughter through her sentence. The mother wrote the daughter a postcard everyday. The mother was saying how the daughter had always loved Winnie the Pooh as a child, so on one of the postcards to the daughter all she wrote was the following quote...
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe; stronger than you seem; and smarter than you think." Christopher Robyn to Winnie the Pooh.
What an encouraging quote! I can think of people right now I'd like to share that with based on where they stand in their current state of life.
Much love, my readers!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
This was a humorous way to start the day by talking about how relationships in our lives are important and that they really do have a big impact on our lives:
Now, this video is the one that they ended the workshop on. I will tell you know, in a room of several hundred attendees, most left crying and just about all the rest of us had least had tears in our eyes:
And for anyone doubting the truth behind this video, I did snopes.com the story JUST to make sure it wasn't something made up to try to pull at people's heart-strings. Unfortunately, it's very true and that's the saddest part...
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
For nearly a month I haven't felt "right." Stressed I suppose, but it left me feeling in ways I've never felt before, thus I was scared many times and it wasn't till the past week or so that I've been feeling pretty good again. Thankfully, I've gotten to where I'm feeling calm again the majority of the time and I'm able to sleep, breath, smile, joke, and enjoy life almost back to "normal."
So, though I have the "continuation" of the previous blog series started and that is REALLY what blog post should be appearing here, I'd like to briefly comment on something else I'm seeing right now in my life...
I think it's so cool how people seem to have people come into their life when they really need them most. Have you ever noticed that new friends or "important people" in you life seem to show up just when you need them? I think sometimes we don't noticed just how much BOTH of the individuals actually need one another at the time. Sure, maybe one individual might seem more vulnerable or needy at the time, but most of the time, there are needs that are being met for both individuals.
The dynamics of relationships are so fascinating!
I've recently found myself getting close to a new individual in my life. It's been an honor for me to be able to be there for this person, as she is handling at lot in her life at this time; yet, I don't think she knows how much it's meant to me to have her there right now too. How could she not know she's actually being there for me so much right now you might ask?
One of the interesting things about friendships and support is just how sometimes all we need is someone that we can just feel they care. That they are there. It's someone to spend time with, even if you don't really have anything you feel you need to talk to them about. It's someone you enjoy everytime you get to see them. It's someone that you find yourself having reminders of them throughout your day, even if you aren't around the person at the time. You find yourself seeing a car that resembles theirs and it makes you smile and think of them. You find yourself randomly thinking about something they told you two days before it and makes you laugh out loud when no one is around.
...that is how my friend has been there for me, and it's really not something that people find them self being aware that they are actually doing it. Does that make sense? Anyways...
And then when you're with them, you can forget that other things are bothering you because you're focused on your time with them. Sure, sometimes you let yourself get focused and involved with what you want to help and support them with based on what they are dealing with, but sometimes it's even more than that. You welcome the break from worrying or dealing with your own life circumstances simply so you can feel free from your own life for a moment.
As I've gotten to know this individual I've continued to be fascinated by how she works and what makes her "tick." HA! [Note: That's how I am with just about everyone I meet....I try to figure them out and how they interact with others and the world.]
What's been so fascinating and interesting to me recently is how much this individual reminds me of a cross between one of my best friends and myself...HA! Tonight I was sitting and talking with this individual for a couple hours, and over and over again I found myself just sitting there listening to her and just smiling and almost beginning to laugh. Sometimes she'd ask me what I was laughing about and I would say, "you." HA! I'd then proceed to tell her how funny I found it that she and I were so much alike. And if it wasn't that I had her figured out because I knew what she was thinking due to the fact that she was thinking in a way similar to me, I'd have her figured out because she would be thinking in a way so similar to my best friend. HA!
I don't know. I just think it's interesting how people seem to come into our lives when we need them....and THAT is such a blessing!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
[This is the continuation of the previous blog post]
How easy is it to give up when things don’t go as planned? How easy would it be to call one’s self a failure and hang our head when the results don’t come out the way we had hoped?
Sometimes we plan for what we can’t control and then when reality takes a different path from what we had planned, we are forced to reconsider. Depending on the reality, this reconsideration can seem minute or monumental; still, it’s what we do next that determines if we are willing to let reality get the best of us, or if we’re willing to take it and run with it!
I can remember one of the first times I honestly thought this whole concept out that I’m talking about and how I was determined to not let myself get discouraged when things did not go as I had planned…
I had found myself running for an office position in an organization I was a part of at the time. I was anxiously anticipating the possibilities if I were to be elected by my peers into the position. Oh how I could use the position to reach out to fellow members in the organization! I could get real excited simply thinking about the endless possibilities! Then, when the election had come and gone I was not elected into the position and I knew immediately this would not crush my dreams for reaching out. I will never forget telling myself that same night that I would simply make a pledge to myself to be the best member I believed I could possibly be over that next year. I was determined to reach out to the new joining members in ways I had not in the past. I promised myself that I would make every effort to reach just as many members as I would have had I gotten the office position.
At the end of our next month all together as an organization I was honored as Member of the Month. Too me, this confirmed my promise I had made to myself. I couldn’t have been happier with my willingness to not let reality affect my overall hopes and plans. Do I say this in a boastful manner? No, rather a state of self-evaluation which I believe is crucial for us all to do throughout life. Sure, I had hoped and planned to reach people through the office position, but when that was not the path I was given, I realized that it was still possible for me to do what was my overall plan – that of reaching out to people.
When reality affected how I would reach people some years ago, I was quick to redirect myself and without hesitation or discouragement, willing to storm forward. Unfortunately, we don’t always find ourselves so eager to accept reality and move on. Sometimes we are left in a state of uncertainty when we are faced with the realization that what we had planned isn’t going to be reality. This state of uncertainty can bring about many different feelings within us, not to mention a sense of discouragement. It is then, when we find ourselves discouraged and uncertain that we tend to linger rather than taking off; however, this does not mean that we are not still capable of running with what we’ve now been given.
For me this has happened over the past year. Over a year ago I found myself graduating with my master’s degree in knowing full well in my head what I wanted to do with it. I had it all planned out, and was ready to land that dream job. Sure, that was not going to be the reality in it all, but nonetheless, I continued to look for it. Time passed and I found myself getting discouraged. I remember resenting talking about anything at all related to my job search or even having my degree with one of my best friends because I remember how discouraged I felt when she would ask me each time we’d talk “how’s the search going? My mom has even asked about you and wanted to know if you’d gotten a job in your career yet.” Gosh, not only was my friend pressuring me, but her mom to top it off! Sure, I’ve no doubt that my friend was not trying to make me feel pressured or degraded in any way since months had passed and I still hadn’t gotten a job in my field; yet, I couldn’t help but feel like I was being judged as someone with this second level of education and “still” doing a non-degree oriented occupation. Like I said, heck, even her mother, who I had VERY limited encounters with was wondering when I’d ever get into my field.
I think you can see where I was coming from. I felt discouraged and like my friends (not to mention their families) were rating me based on what I was doing as an occupation. Granted, I realize that is (unfortunately) how our country rates people, but still, it seems more personal when it’s coming from people whose opinion really matters to you.
So months passed, and there was the occasional interview here and there, but still no luck. It seemed if the position wasn’t disqualifying me based on my in ability to speak Spanish, it was because I didn’t have enough years of experience. Then when I’d about given up on looking and was ready to take a break a spot seemed to come to me. I was ecstatic! It was about as close to what I had envisioned and planned myself doing as anything I’d seen yet! Communications between the organization and me seemed to be looking real good. Finally, when it came down to it, and I had crunched and re-crunched the numbers, I had to turn it down because I would not have been able to support myself based on the limited income it was offering. I was crushed! It was as if my last hope had slipped away and I’d remain feeling like I was letting myself down, along with everyone else that continued to ask “why aren’t you using your degree yet?”
Sometimes when we are in the state of taking in the reality and how it has turned out differently than what we had planned, we are just as eager as anything to move on because we don’t like the feelings we find ourselves dealing with while trying to accept the reality. There was no doubt I felt discouraged and uncertain on if my plans of going into my field were any sort of reality for the near future. Because of this, I was lingering as I was trying to deal with the reality of it all. But then the tides would turn, and little did I know, I was about to make another promise to myself…
[To Be Continued]
Monday, February 18, 2008
I've always been a person that likes to plan things out and know what I'm going to do. I remember when I was preparing to call a guy I liked in college to ask him to a social event, I was so nervous I wrote out what to say on the phone--planned out the whole conversation (I say this with no shame, because whether you've done this before or not, I KNOW others have, so it's all good...HA!). Several rehearsal run throughs later (yes, including running through what he would say), and some deep breathes, I had dialed his phone number and waited anxiously for him to answer. He answered. Thus the script would begin...
Three seconds and two lines into the script things were already off course! How could this be!?! What would I do!?!? I mean I can't be mad at him for not following the script seeings how he'd never even seen it, nor had any idea I was holding it and reading it for that matter...HA! Yet, I so desperately wanted to get back on script. How could I make sure I was able to "ask" him to the event in a "cool" manner, so I wouldn't come off sounding like I really liked him!?! How was I going to get to that GREAT segue from simply shooting the breeze to nonchalantly asking him to the event if everything is off mark now?!
Though I was panicking on the inside, apparently I remained calm and undercontrol sounding on the outside...phew. Though it's been years ago and I can't remember exactly what mastery of the art of communication I resorted to in that situation to get the final result of the date for the event, all I DO remember is that my preplanning and script all went right out the window and I realized in the end all it had done for me is possibly gave me enough courage to make the call because I THOUGHT I knew my way through it and that it'd be "okay" because I knew how it was going to go.
Now, I'd like to say I've never again gotten to the point of where I've gone over, line-for-line, how I expected communications between myself and another individual to go, but I'd be lying if I said that. But what I have learned over the years is that more than likely, preplanned conversations, or even encounters, with individuals seldomly ever go as originally thought out. So NOW when I still find myself preplanning a situation, I'm quick to remind myself WHILE I'm planning that it's VERY likely that this is not how it's going to go and to not allow myself to feel as if I'll be devastated or freaked out if things go "off-script."
Thank goodness, I don't grade my life on how often it follows my "scripts," because if I did, not only would I have flunked, but I would have been forced to give up by now.
Sometimes it isn't necessarily a word-for-word script we have designed to depict the future, but rather an outline. It's as if we have envisioned the generalities of what should and hopefully will come about for us, and along with that, normally is a status of time. It's as if we are trying to write our story before it happens--sometimes in what I think is our response to the fear of the unknown of what's to come, but also as a form of motivation for something to work toward.
The most common example of this is the "what are you going to be when you grow up" question. I dare to say there's a single individual in this world that's cognitive enough to comprehend that question that has not been asked it. Thus, we all have had to respond to it. Sure, we might have outwardly said, "I don't know," but inside we have given thought to our lives ahead. Depending on our point in life when asked that question, some of our answers might be more researched and educated and closer to what we truly have interest in "being" than others. Nonetheless, it's something we find on our "outline" at that current time.
The outline is almost expected for those individuals in college. I mean, you can't reach the accolade of graduation without having a major, which is believed to be "what you want to do when you grow up," right? It's almost assumed upon graduation that that individual persue the career within their studies. Even the majority of the individuals graduating with a degree in a specific area will tell you that's the area they want to go into for a career. So at this point it's almost like the outline is no longer a guide, but rather writing in stone. How could you do anything other than what is "written"?! Jump to it! Put your studies into practice immediately!
...or so the outline of life says.
Do you want to know the #1 question asked of any individual that does anything other than working "in" their degree following graduation? "So, when you going to put your degree to use?" From what I hear (tee hee hee), it's about the 99th time you hear it during the first month following your graduation that you begin to get past the bitterness of people asking it. [Sidenote: I hear "the bitterness" starts about the time that the first person follows up the first question with "I mean you spent so much money on it, shouldn't you be using it?"] ;)
So what if you don't go directly into your field of study following graduation? Or what if you do, and it's only a matter of time that you find yourself wondering if that's really what you want to be doing as a career? Is it the end of the world? Have you failed?
It might be deemed that way by some of the previous question askers, but they haven't walked in your shoes; they don't know where your priorities lie and what's most important to you at that time. They have no rights to your outline. YOU are the one that gets to write and revise and decide how the outline goes, including the time status.
Maybe your outline is changing up some. Maybe it's been written for years and unchanged and now is the time. Now you find yourself revising. It could be the time table that's "off" or it could be the specific points. Whatever the revisions, make them and stand tall knowing it's your outline and it isn't always going to go as we have it planned out...
...but that's okay!
[To Be Continued]
Sunday, February 10, 2008
"Just let it all out and hold nothing back. You've got enough in ya right now to just start going and not stop for sometime. Say what you're really feeling in response."
"No, don't say it."
"Get control and just don't speak your mind."
"Just be still and the feeling to get it all out with subside. Be still."
The feelings are jumbled leaving a sense of uncertainty; the mind is trying to decipher it all; and the heart is hurting with each action of discomfort.
Sometimes I get these urges to just go...to just speak my mind...to go off...and it takes everything within me to control it. I just have to still myself for sometime.
That was me. Sitting teeth clinched, staring off into a point of nothingness, and as still as can be. Any chance at movement could be all it took to lose the control. Then just time--still, tedious, time.
But instead of a sense of success when I reach the state of the urge having subsided, I'm left with a heart hurting. The deep pain within your upper chest that leaves you short of breathe. It makes you want to stretch your chest cavity and release the pressure. It sucks and I hate it.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Sure, feelings are not going to change if I don't change anything from the way it is, that's a given. Yet, it seems I oftentimes find myself thinking I need to "get new friends."
I don't know why this is and what it means but it's always such a strong feeling. It's a sense of feeling like I need to cut myself off from the style of friend network I currently find myself interacting with at the time and try to get closer to other friends and/or look to make new friends.
It always kind of catches me off guard when I find myself thinking this, but at the same time I can't ignore it or convince myself that it's unnecessary. It can get the best of me.
I hate it, but at the same time I'll find myself feeling determined that I need to start taking steps to make some changes and restructure my friend network.
It scares me, and I'll find myself getting upset emotionally thinking about it, but something in me says it's what I've gotta do. Only a matter of months ago I remember the feeling was so strong that I convinced myself that I needed to find a job in an area of town that was the furthest from my closest friends. It was the only area left in town that I hadn't explored and sent resumes too during my career searching process. The exact reason why I refused to look in those areas was because it would put me too far away from the friends I felt the closest too and spent the most time with. Nonetheless, when the feeling had me convinced that I needed to make some changes, I spent hours printing up cover letters to all the potential employers in those areas.
Today I still have those cover letters. They never got sent out. There's times when I'm grateful that something convinced me not to go through with it; however, it's only till the next time that I find that feeling and desire for change hitting me that I feel it's unfortunate that I didn't take action the time before.
It's funny how we think sometimes...
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Enjoy! This cracked me up! HA!
why jay leno needs bodyguards
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Tuesday, February 05, 2008
It's song #1 in the list below and the rest are just some other old school songs from the good ol' 1980s and early 90s! Give them a sample listening on iTunes and I bet when you hear them again you'll be like, "OH...GOOD SONG! I'd forgotten about this one..."
[in no particular order]
- "To Be With You" by Mr. Big (1991)
- "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey (1981)
- "When I See You Smile" by Bad English (1988)
- "I Wanna Be Rich" by Calloway (1990)
- "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince (1984)
- "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch (1991)
- "Head to Toe" by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam (1987)
- "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina & the Waves (1985)
- "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" by Wham! (1984)
- "I Love Your Smile" by Shanice (1991)
Monday, February 04, 2008
[PLEASE dig deep and find the sarcasm in that statement! Nonetheless...some words...]
- I've become quite fond of the quote I found on the myspace page of an elementary school crush that I'm now stalking (HA!): "If you're not a liberal when you're 20, you have no heart; if you're not a conservative when you're 40, you have no brain!" The part I find most interesting about that quote has NOTHING to do with the political ramifications of "liberals vs. conservatives" but how true I think it is that the age/maturation/values of a person is very likely to influence their views as to "liberal vs. conservative". Yes, there I go pulling the psychology out of a subject meant to be focused on something totally different.
- Following along with the above quote, this whole Obama vs. Clinton thing interests me only to the point that I feel I need to know who I will click in on my voting pad whenever that time comes; yet, word on the street is that Texas doesn't vote for like another month anyways, but still, I like to feel like I'm mainstream and that I need to know who I want to vote for BEFORE I hear the results of Super Tuesday. Yes, I think this is TOTALLY like how you are supposed to set your limits before going into a bar/casino/strip-club. Uh, I don't know where that last one came from...HA!
- I have seen a lot of my friends are supporting Barak on their facebook accounts. Since I'm pretty lazy and actually don't really care a lot about politicians and what they "say" is how they stand on issues, I like to look at which of my friends are voting for who, and then I weigh who they are voting for on how smart I view that friend to be. Using that method I'm able to follow a point system and give each candidate a point total and decide who I should vote for. Makes total sense, huh? What a brilliant way to decide who to vote for. [Actually, I just made all that "process" up just now, but it sounds like it might be an idea to take into consideration for future elections...HA!]
- Someone recently told me that Hillary just really seems to come off as a bitch. Hmm...I've never really looked at her that way. But the more I think about it, I really haven't taken much time to look at her either. Hmmm...
- Barak comes off as an intelligent individual. I like intelligent people.
- Part of me feels like I'm dising (how do you spell that word?!) my gender though if I don't support the lone female in the crowd. I feel like I need to vote for Hillary just because I feel a woman in such a high level of power could really make some change and turn around some messed up trends we have in this country. You know, big things like... Umm, the things that are coming to mind are obesity, and internet porn, and child molesters, and gas prices. Oh yes, gas prices....ridiculous!
- I wish there was a way to do an experiment to know if Oprah endorsing Barak has totally influenced a LARGE number of women voting for him. I SOOOO want to know! What a weapon! His biggest competition is a woman....what better way to steal her highest potential of voters (women) from her than by getting possibly the #1 most influential icon for women to endorse him. Okay, so maybe he didn't have to try REAL hard to get Oprah, seeings how she absolutely LOVES the man, since he IS the senator for the state she films her show in, AND he is on her show freakin' all the time since she loves him. But whatever...
- Then there's that race that's sexist going on that has all males in it. I can say I've followed it so closely that if you put a picture of Romney and one of Huckabee (that is their names, right?) in front of me and I wouldn't be able to tell you who is who...HA! I don't even know enough about these candidates or the republican race to even make a joke here...
Now I am beginning to feel like I'm just writing crap to be writing it. HA! Now that you are definately much more on track for which candidate would be the best use of your vote in the election, please DO go out and vote! I'm ALL about encouraging voting; I just could careless about most the stuff we have to vote about.
Wait, now that just came off in a manner of: I think you should vote just to vote and not make conscious choices when voting.
What I mean is...
Voting is something I believe in because I think it's important for individuals to have a say in their life and how it will be affected. Because of this, voting is your chance to give your opinion. What I don't really care about is all the crap that is involved in most all electoral issues/political leaders and their campaigns.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
The other things in the stack included stuff like a VHS tape of "Search for Bobby Fischer" (an EXCELLENT movie by the way) and a diary of my friends. Neither of which met the "page 123" criteria.
Turning to my other side in the room is a another stack (believe it or not, my room is actually rather clean and organized--my friends can attest to this, as they like to joke that I'm the one of the three of our close group that they can show up at my house at anytime and not worry about me being embarressed that my room is a mess....HA) which is many movies I have stacked up to hopefully watch at some point in time, and then at the bottom of the stack is four books I used to like to call my "books I'm reading", but being completely honest with myself, they are all books I've started at one point over the past year and haven't picked any of them up in months...HA! From this "stack" I'll use "The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients" by Irvin D. Yalom, M.D. for this meme (even though this one too happens to have a short number of sentences on page 123--it's the end of a chapter, but I'll just proceed into the next chapter to complete the meme).
The meme plays as...
Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
Find Page 123.
Find the first 5 sentences.
Post the next 3 sentences.
Tag 5 people.
It bursts loose in every nightmare. When we were children we were preoccupied with death and one of our major developmental tasks has been to cope with the fear of obliteration. Death is a visitor in every course of therapy.
~The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients by Irvin D. Yalom, M.D.
Obviously anyone is free to play along with this meme, but for "tagging" purposes, I suppose Kim, Jennifer, Brooke, Katey, & Holly.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
- Today I finished reading a book I started a couple weeks ago. This sounds like a dumb thing to mention, but this is honestly like a big feat for me. I hardly EVER finish books I start reading. The book actually wasn't all that amazing of a book, but I chose it from my many of books on my small bookcase next to my computer desk (which sits there as a constant tease for me, because I sit at the computer and find myself looking over at the books on it and thinking, "Gosh, I really wanna read that book" but I'm fully aware of the likelihood of me actually reading...or if I start it actually finishing it). The book I read was Maria Shrivers "Ten Things I Wish I'd Known - Before I Went Out into the Real World". Don't get me wrong, it was a decent book, but I mainly chose it because it was one I had wanted to read and mostly because it is a small book and I wanted to remind myself that I could be dedicated enough and read a complete book. Today, I read the remaining 8 of the 125 pages and I feel good knowing I can start and finish a book!
- Something interesting about that book is how I think back on it now that I've read it all and it was the chapter on marriage that I recall enjoying the most and thinking how true so many points of it seemed to be...HA! Funny, since I'm not (and never have been) married. But maybe it seemed interesting because I was reading it during a time I was dating a guy, and working on a relationship by compromising brings about similar situations whether you're dating or married. The chapter is called "Marriage Is a Hell of a Lot of Work" and here is the opening paragraph to that chapter...
Oh my God, is that true. And I had no inkling of this when I left college. Otherwise, I wouldn't have spent my twenties worrying that I wasn't married. In fact, if any of you is worried that you haven't run into anyone named Right, male or female, don't be in such a hurry. Chill, relax, and enjoy your freedom, because once you're married you don't have that kind of freedom anymore. After being in such a rush to meet their soul mates, so many people complain about being married to them. It's nuts.
- Instead of starting another book now, I think I'm going to give this audio book stuff a try, as I got a book on CD I've been interested in reading for sometime now for only $10 a couple weeks back. It's a book a good friend of mine read a while back and recommended it to me saying she thought I'd enjoy it. It's called "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. I've gotten about halfway through the first CD today and it seems interesting. It's strange to listen to someone reading a book to me over my iPod, but we'll see. I hear this audio book stuff is cool. I will say though, as a non-fiction reader, I like to "read" stuff that makes me think, thus I find myself wanting to read slowly and understand everything and let stuff set in before moving on, and this might cause me issues with an audio book. There's been a couple points where I've paused my iPod so far to let a sentence he read set in...HA!
- Tonight, one of my best friends added a new entry to her blog that she hadn't written in for over 3 years. This makes me smile.
- I'm in LOVE with this new website one of my friends introduced me to via her blog. It is called GoodSearch and it's a search engine that gives money to charities everytime you surf it! How GREAT is that! Sure, it only gives like a penny with each search, but do you know what sort of potential this has!?!? I SOOOO recommend you become a GoodSearch-er and recommend it to your friends. I downloaded the GoodSearch toolbar because I used to always use my Google search toolbar, and then I changed my internet explorer homepage at work from Google.com to GoodSearch.com because I'm often having to look up stuff on the internet at work and I like to give back to GREAT causes when I'm doing my work! Go check the site out and pick a charity you like to donate too. I've chosen the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Oh, and if you're worried that it might not be a "good" search engine and that you think nothing compares to your Google, understand that GoodSearch is powered by Yahoo, thus it is a "good" search engine and will give you good results! =)
- Finally, I was recently introduced to this GREAT "waste of time internet game" that you and your friends can fall in love with too! HA! It's one of those games that is extremely simple (in a complexity sort of way, not in an easy-to-win sorta way) and highly addictive. The email forward that I got the website from claims that this "game" is actually a test used by the US Air Force. They say that those training to fly in the Air Force have to obtain a score of 2 minutes on this test, but I don't know if that's a bunch of bologna or not...HA! Anyways, the email also states that if you can go more than 18 seconds on it you're "phenomenal"...uhhh, my current high is 25.016 seconds and I've scored in the 20 seconds several times, so uh, I guess I'm "phenomenal"...but I'm not going to go writing home about that one. Or at least not until I am good enough to be an Air Force pilot! HA! ;) The website is this. There are instructions on how to play it at the bottom.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Recently I was talking with a friend of mine and he was saying how he loves movies. He owns more than 900 movies on VHS and DVD. He mentioned how movies impact him because he can often times find himself watching a movie and he can see himself in the movie, or as aspect of his life, or just relate in one way or another with the film. I told him I could understand that, but for me it wasn't movies, rather it was music that did that for me. I love how songs can really get to me in ways that either drive me to want to do something, or to want to sing them at the top of my lungs, or to want to cry, etc. I like to take songs and pick out how they can seem to be talking about parts of my life even though the song was written about something totally else [i.e. a song about a romantic relationship (which I’m most likely NOT in at the time) and relating it to something else in my life]. Though the artist might be singing about the power of his/her love for someone they long to marry, I can sing the songs and think of how they relate to someTHING I love in life, or someone I love in life (even though they are someone I love in a way other than a romantic type of love), or even just about how I can love life in general.
Music is just a powerful force in my life. It's funny because one of the most natural highs I get in life comes from singing at the top of my lungs. I love just getting into some good music and belting it out! HA! Something I've really noticed in my life over the past year is how much I miss my 20-25 minute drives commuting to school. It was during those times that I got some good "music time." Time would I could crank my music as loud as I wanted in my car and sing as loud as I felt like that day. Living in a house with so many people limits my chances for being alone and feeling comfortable in just belting out some songs.
My life currently consists of a travel time of less than 1 minute (well, depending on how I hit the one stop-light) to get to work; therefore, my daily commutes are restricted for singing time. With this being the case, I've found that about the only GOOD thing about my best friend living over 30 miles from me is that I do get my alone-time in the car once again (especially when I am traveling in rush hour traffic to get to her house, so it takes me about an hour to get there). I mean how do you beat the high one feels from getting to sing at the top of their lungs AND knowing they are going to be hanging out with their best friend real soon. =)
The amazing gadget of the iPod has helped bring all my music in my life together into one portable place. [Thank you, Steve Jobs]. Anyways, that little gadget goes basically EVERYwhere with me. In the car (especially on any trip longer than my trip to work), to work, to friends houses, and even to the shower with me. It's almost always playing when I'm in my room if I'm not watching television. If I'm reading I have it on classical music playing in the background. If I'm working on the computer I usually have it playing in the background. Back when I was in school I used it for studying or writing papers, because I love classical music playing when I'm doing that sort of stuff. Back when I was working out regularly I used it then. It helped me through my studying for my licensing exam (which I studied 95% of the time while walking on a treadmill and listening to my iPod all at once...and yes, I passed it the first time...HA!). At work I have it playing constantly at my desk (even when I'm having to walk away from my desk to go do something in another part of the building for our staff), so who knows what it could have playing when people come to my desk looking for me and I'm not there (this is yet another reason why I like clean edited versions of music...HA!). All this to say, my iPod gets a LOT of use. The top Most Played Song on it has been played 472 times!
Besides when I'm at work, the only other time I will for sure ALWAYS have it on daily is when I take my nightly showers. I LOVE listening to music while I shower. Heck, without much driving time nowadays, this is about my only other time to get in some halfway private singing time. [Note: I call it "halfway private" not because I let people in the bathroom while I'm showering, but rather that there is an office connected to my bathroom by a single door and MANY times when I'm my shower in the evenings there is someone in the office only a door away and so if I were to sing very loud at all it would no longer be just me hearing myself...HA!]
Anyways, by the time shower-time comes in the evenings, I'm typically tired of my current iPod playlists from listening to them usually during the day at work, so I'm wanting something different. With this being the case, I'll often times just put it on "shuffle play" to see which of my 1697 songs on my iPod will pop up and play for me...HA! Since I do have SUCH an array of music on it, I typically try to find something up-beat and shower-worthy for when I'm wanting to just "sing-out" in the shower. So what I'll normally do when I put it on shuffle is I'll skip forward until I find one that grabs my fancy as a "good shower song" and I'll take the risk from there and hope the next two or three that are going to play through while I'm in the shower end up being "good" ones.
So tonight this blog entry has been inspired by my shower "playlist" that randomly occurred tonight while I listened to my iPod on shuffle as I showered. I skipped through to find what I wanted to start with and ended up starting it with "Glory Days." When that song popped up in the shuffle choices I realized I was just feeling it and thought it would be a great one for in the shower and so it began. Below I'm going to share with you ten songs that ran through my random shuffled list starting with The Boss. I was really pleased with this list. Just some random fun stuff. I'm even considering doing this sort of a blog entry every now-and-then because I think it's fun and interesting to see the types of music on people's iPods. Feel free to share a list of ten songs in a row that come up on your iPod when it's put on shuffle. I think you can learn about a person by seeing their music tastes. Plus I just love hearing about songs I don't know.
Here is my list from tonight. The number in parentheses after the song artist is how many times that particular song has been played on my iPod. In order to not bring about incorrect assumptions by the numbers, if a song is rather new to being added to my iPod, it's number will be displayed in red.
- "Glory Days" by Bruce Springsteen 
- "Music of the Night" by Paul Potts 
- "Be Still" by Kelly Clarkson 
- "Like a Prayer" by Madonna 
- "When the Sun Goes Down" by Kenny Chesney 
- "Break Away" by Rascal Flatts 
- "This is Me" by Dream 
- "The Ballad of John and Yoko" by The Beatles 
- "Everlasting Love" by Gloria Estefan 
- "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morissette 
Friday, January 11, 2008
Basically I am NOT much for politics (they really rub me the wrong way most the time...it's too fake and let's try to say what you want to hear, to me anyways), but since it isn't like I'm going to be able to wave a magic wand and POOF be gone with politics, I figure I at least should TRY to know who my vote would best be used supporting.
This being said, I've always been someone that loves to find one of those tables/charts that you can find around election times that compares where all the different candidates stand on the "big" issues. Because a quick glance at something like that and I'll be like, "Okay, I'm voting for _____." Yes, I know, it is a highly thought-out and intelligent way of voting, but at least I DO vote, right?
So today I found this website to this short 12-question quiz that asks you where you stand on the "big" issues and then it tells you which candidate is closest to your views. I really enjoyed this and I thought I'd share that link with y'all and since I honestly don't care, I'll share my results with you too...HA!
The quiz is at this website.
And this is the ranking of the candidates on how closely they believe what I believe on the "big" issues...
1. John Edwards
2. Barack Obama
3. Bill Richardson
4. Hillary Clinton
5. Mike Huckabee
6. Mitt Romney
7. Dennis Kucinich
8. John McCain
9. Ron Paul
10. Rudy Giuliani
Wow, good thing I took this, because I had been thinking..."Hmm....if I decide to vote republican I'm going to vote for Giuliani. He just seems like such a great guy and he was so cute and good at handling the 9/11 thing it seemed." Phew...that was a close one! HA! ;)
Sunday, January 06, 2008
That might be the only half-way profound thing to come out of this entry. That came to me earlier in the day today, and ever since I spit it out, I have had a hard time not thinking about it and realizing just how true I think it is.
It’s funny how happiness can be disguised; disguised in a manner that keeps us from completely identifying it. Sure, maybe we don’t feel unhappy, but we don’t find our self thinking to our self how happy we might actually be in our situation. I think it might be just as much that we have become too accustom to the state of feeling satisfied and happy that we begin to not even recognize it when it’s lurking.
One might say we begin to take the feeling of being happy for granted. While I believe that could be possible at some points in time, I feel that the feeling I am depicting here is different. I believe it is less that we are forgetting how happy we were, but more that we don’t realize we are as happy as we are. It’s almost like we don’t realize that what we have is satisfying us to the point of happiness.
I feel that it happens too often in a materialistic world that we find ourselves wanting when really what we think we want isn’t much more than something we have been deceived into believing we need. We convince our self that since it brought “happiness” to someone else that it can (and will) do the same for us. We seem to be on an endless journey to obtain a never-ending state of happiness—a figment of our imagination. We become mislead by thinking that this state can only be achieved through gaining that “next thing” we have convinced our self that we “need.” The irony falls in that in the grand scheme, it is quite possible that we are happy during the time we are striving for the next best thing and that we are simply reluctant to notice it.
What is unfortunate is how often times when we do gain whatever it was that we desired, in the end we end up going without recognizing the minimal change in happiness that it brought us. What typically happens is we simply move on toward wanting whatever it is we now feel will bring us closer to that desired state of happiness without seeing the state of happiness we are already in.
I think what can bring about such a bittersweet discovery is when we have obtained that in which we were desiring and we are capable of realizing that it did not bring us the happiness we had envisioned it bringing us. I believe it is at this point when we can truly see that we were just as happy without it as we were with it that we get the closest to realizing just how happy we actually are in life.