Thursday, May 03, 2007

Closeness in Friendships...

I think we get closer to people during times of need.

I know that sounds so obvious, but I think we don't realize it when it happens a lot of the time. And if we do, it's usually after-the-fact.

Have you ever experienced how at times you seem to "randomly" get a lot closer to one friend than you'd been in the past? This can be with best friends or just other friends, maybe that you're already close with or not.

I've been thinking about this. I think the "random" closeness comes from a typically unconscious yearning to meet some need. We really do need one another and as we get closer (i.e. "closer" concerning many different venues), we are being there for one another--meeting those needs.

Sometimes the closeness seems to last for an extended period of time, sometimes it slowly dissolves as the need can go away, or be replaced.

I can think back on a sort of sudden closeness I formed with a friend a while back and I remember at the time thinking how it seemed strange that I out of no where I was feeling like this person was suddenly becoming a "best friend" of mine because we were getting so close, but at the same time I was finding myself thinking how odd that was, as this person was fairly different from any "best friend" I'd ever had before, but also that the friendship was forming in a way I had never found myself gaining a "best friend" in the past. I just remember it all seemed strange, but at the same time, I had no problems with us being close...

That closeness faded with time, not because of anything "bad" happening, but I truly feel we just didn't need the closeness anymore, so now we are just fine being regular (for lack of a better word) friends again. I can sit here and think of what need she was getting from me, but I have a difficult time recalling what was going on in my life at that time, as to why I needed the closeness, but I have a feeling there was something going on if I could remember when exactly it was that this took place.

Friendships are just such an intriguing thing to me. I love considering their different aspects.


I just rattled off this post in a matter of a couple quick minutes. It's just my current wondering thoughts. I might touch more on this subject again later on (just depending on my writing mood)...

1 comment:

ACU35 said...

Yeah, I hear you on this one Kim. About a year ago this happened to me. I know we met (friend) for some reason, but not sure exactly why. She became a closer friend of mine before I knew it.

She maintains a friendship plan that she calls "friendship maintainence." It is an excellent plan and a good way to keep friendships thriving.

I am beginning to realize just how important real friendships really are in life.