Thursday, March 08, 2007


Sometimes I think I think myself into problems...HA! I laugh, because it sounds ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure it's true. I don't know if entertainment through extensive thought can be a "fault" but if so, I'm guilty.

A friend of mine has brought to my attention that she believes she and I are opposites on many things. Having never really given it any thought, I gave it some, and then gave-up on what the opposites could be and asked for a list of what she thought were our "opposites." I was given a list. Now I agree, they are differences between us, but at the same time, I realized I had never really given them much thought, or considered that point that we are different on them. I mean I guess I've acknowledged them to a point, but was just kinda like "whatever."

Extensive thoughts:
So lately I've found myself entertaining my past-time of thinking-more-into-things-than-I-probably-should, and I found myself thinking, "it's people being different from you that makes people not like people--that makes people dislike groups of individuals." For instance...

Think about gays. Think about groups of a different race. Hate toward gays comes from non-gays. Hate toward blacks comes from non-blacks. You get the picture--it's from those that are opposite that the hate is developed.

So are people that are "opposite" more likely to love or to hate?

I mean I'm sure the importance of the subject for which the two are "opposite" plays a large role. So what if you're different in a subject area that makes up a big part of one of the people's life, such as religious beliefs? I mean it's one thing to have one person's favorite band be the Dixie Chicks and the other person can't stand to hear the name, but it's another thing when one person's life is guided by his/her belief in God while the other person questions His existence in the first place.

Do "opposites" really attract? Or are friendships stronger when they are based on similarities?


Holly said...

I remember talking to Dr. Jones about this one day in Social Psychology. Supposedly, research says it is actually a myth that opposites attract and that those who are similar get along better. When I find out the specifics about this, if I can, I will post it as another comment. Personally, I think many, if not most, people are attracted to others (attraction not being just romantic, but friendship as well) because they see peices of themselves in that other person, amplified (and perhaps this is not even done consciously). I wrote a poem about this a while back.

FeedingYourMind said...

Holly--I remember that similar discussion in my social psych. class with Dr. J. I remember Kacey S. and I were joking too about the Paula Abdul song "Opposites Attract" because of it...HA!

Yeah, I guess where I get to thinking is how I had even picked up on the "opposites" or "differences" until the person brought them to my attention. So that comforts me in thinking that I obviously do not feel those differences bother me in the friendship, since I hadn't even acknowledged them till now. But then I'm also quick to think, well obviously that person acknowledges them as she brought them up and brought them to my attention.

It's all kinda interesting. But then at the same time. When I think about my closest friendships, I typically can't tell you what it is I love about that person or the friendship that makes them one of my closest friends...HA! I can't typically note if it is similarities we are sharing that makes me so close to them or what it is. I just know I love them and their friendship. HA!

Anonymous said...

Ha. I never check your site, but I was checking my sister-in-law's and thought I'd see what you've been up to over here.

My response: It's the similarities that make us such close friends and the differences that keep it interesting. I think if people are too similar, it's not interesting enough to keep their interests up. If they are too different, then they clash. It is a fine balance between the two that makes a cherishable relationship.

I'm glad we have that balance!

FeedingYourMind said...

Laura--funny to have you stop in at the blog at a time like this...almost ironic I guess! ;)

Hmm...interesting opinion on the topic. I'll give it some thought and I'll definately express your thoughts on the matter with the friend of mine.