Loneliness is a tough feeling. It's a feeling no one wants to live with and a feeling that can seem to linger sometimes. It might be a passing feeling for some and a constant state for others. Whatever the cause, it is typically unwanted by those who are experiencing it.
Feeling alone can take place when one feels there is no one to talk to; it can come when one feels there is no one to hold them; it can also come when one has multiple people around them to interact with. It is a feeling, not a physical state of existence. Simply having people around does not always cease the feeling.
There's not much worse than feeling you're alone and you don't know what to do, or who is there for you. Stressful times can leave us feeling alone and like no one else would understand even if we felt there WAS someone to talk too.
I very recently found myself feeling depressed. I think I was still dealing with the lose of my friend and I remember at some of the low points I felt so alone and as if I had lost all my friends. Not physically, to death or anything, but as if I had lost touch with the majority of my friends...
I've always been one of those people that smiles in the thought of keeping in touch with many friends. I GREATLY appreciate quality friendships, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I enjoy having a good quantity of friendships as well. I've always been that type of person. Someone that loves being friends with everyone and makes an effort in keeping multiple friendships.
...so when I was feeling down I found myself thinking how I was losing all my friendships. I felt I had lost contact with everyone but my couple closest friendships I have here in town. I felt like I was in a state of my friendships revolved around my two best friends here and not that I don't greatly appreciate and love them dearly, but I always try to keep myself grounded in the fact that I can't allow my social contact and support to come solely from one or two individuals. Even before my friend's recent passing, I've had this belief, because I know good in well that relying so heavily on one person to get my needs met (social needs in this case) is not healthy. [Note: this is VERY important to remember in a marriage, this is why it is healthy to be sure you keep close friendships outside a marriage as well].
So in a depressive state the feeling of loneliness was sinking in. I mean I was obviously missing my passed friend, and it was leading to other thoughts. Depressive thoughts can be distorted and that they were. I had begun to feel as if I had no other friends but my two close ones. I remember thinking to myself, who else is left, even in the Metroplex? I was able to think of one or two people and I remember thinking, I haven't talked to them in what seems like forever. How strange would that be to try to call and rekindle our friendship now?
But luckily these thoughts passed and I was able to schedule a get together with none other but one of those friends I had thought about. I actually had that get together this evening and had a BLAST getting to catch-up!
It was on my way to this get together that I heard a song in the radio while listening to Delilah (yes, I proudly admit I LOVE the Delilah radio show and I have listened to it since I was a youngster growing up, as my best friend and I in high school would listen to it together over the phone and just talk about the stories and songs together). The song I heard this evening I had never heard before, but it was a dedication made by a mother for her daugther. Her daughter was about to start her FIRST full-time job as a teacher. It would be her first year teaching. The daughter was real close to her mother, but they were in separate towns and the daughter was nervous to start her career, so the mom dedicated this song to her. The song was called "Never Alone" by Jim Brickman / Lady Antebellum. I am not family with Brickman or Lady Antebellum, and for all I know they are popular...HA! But I remember really enjoying the song as I drove and I just thought it would make such a wonderful song to listen to in times of feeling lonely.
As I listened to the song I began to think of how relevant it was to my recent feeling of feeling alone, but even more than that, I began thinking of people I would dedicate the song too...
I thought of a friend of mine who will leave this week for her first year of college. She's very nervous as she's moving away from home for the first time and to a school she's never been too with no one she knows going to attend there.
I thought of a friend of mine who was remembering the death of her father on the anniversary today.
I thought of a friend of mine who was losing an unborn child today.
I thought of others...
There's nothing easy about feeling alone, but there's nothing quite like the moment of realizing we are "never alone."
Whether that "moment" comes for you by means of getting out of a state of depression, or by catching up with an old friend, or by getting a hug from a family member, or by feeling the presence of your God; whatever brings the feeling of not being alone for you, that is what is important. Remember you are NOT alone and that there are others out there. Others willing to listen, to share, to simply BE THERE.
I end with the video of the song that I dedicate to anyone who is or has gone through feeling alone...
Never Alone - Music Video
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