Okay…so I was going through some old emails and stuff on my computer today looking for something and I came across an email I had sent out on January 15, 2002, to many of my friends. It was a request for their feedback on something I was going to work on for one of my New Year’s Resolutions. I found it interesting to reread what some of the people had said and I found it interesting what things have and haven’t changed about me in this almost 3 year time period that has passed. Also, I’m considering working on this same idea as a New Year’s Resolution for 2005, so feel free to leave me some feedback in the comment section (or you can wait till I send out the email in January to everyone again!) ;)
Soo…here is the email I sent out…and following it were the responses I got back from friends. I’ve divided the responses up by whether they came from my St. Louis friends or from ACU friends.
This is most likely going to be a kind of email that you have never gotten before....but here goes...
I'm on a mission for one of my new year's resolutions I set. This resolution is to become a better person and improve in some of my personal character areas that need improvement to become a better person. Now, while I am pretty sure I know what my
most needed character/personality weakness areas are, I’m still open to y’all's suggestions.
But I also was wondering what ya'll might think are my character/personality stronger points, because while I believe one of weaknesses is my overabundance of sarcasm (which occasionally turns blunt and rude) I don't want to totally knock off my sarcasm (while that WILL be a hard mission in itself) if my sarcasm happens to be a strong part of my character....you know what I mean? Maybe?
So, I suppose in simpler terms what I am asking is for you to tell me what you like about me as a person and what you don't like....and seeings how I AM asking...I am not gonna be hurt by any of it...trust me....I’ve been told some whoppers and it only makes me want to work harder, because it is to make OTHERS happy that I’m all about...and I have found myself telling myself lately that I REALLY need to work on some things...
This is obviously optional (like almost EVERYTHING in life) but I would really appreciate y’alls feedback....and I’m willing to accept emails of all negative things...I don't care...I just ask for honesty...and I’ll be sure to fill you in on how my progress comes. ;)
This means a lot to me and so do all of you...
I also see this as a challenge for ya'll....I mean do you ever really think WHY it is that you like a person and then what things about other people really bother you?...(most of us tend to do the latter of the two quite often unfortunately) But I also challenge ya'll to work to improve in your own areas, and we can ALL use it...trust me! ;)
St. Louis Friends:
Geez…this is a weird question... um, I guess one of your stronger points is your outgoing-ness. I wish I could walk up to people and instantly be able to carry on a conversation. And your ability to adapt. No matter what the circumstance, you always make it through. That’s pretty exceptional. One of the things that bothers me is that you put people down. It's funny at first, but after awhile, it gets to sounding crass and self-centered. Granted, I'm absolutely HORRIBLE about putting people down as well. And you kind-of boss people around. But, other than that, there's not a lot about you that bothers me. Whoa, it feels weird to be so up front... oh, I'm out of my comfort zone! I hope this is what you were looking for and that you don't get offended by any of it! Talk to you later! Emily Bishop (1-24-02)
In response to your e-mail about what we all like/dislike about your personality, one major thing popped into my mind. I think that just the fact that you are putting forth the effort to become a better person makes you one of the most considerate people I know. I'm not saying that it's necessarily a good thing to depend on other people's opinions of you as your means of identity (and I don't think you are doing that), but I think it's really admirable that you are turning to those who you know and care about for advice. In the past couple of years I've noticed such a change in your personality. For me, it's somewhat odd to read e-mails such as the one that you just sent me, and others which display a benevolent side of your personality. It's not odd in a bad way. At any rate, the point that I am trying to make with this verbose e-mail is just that I think your quest for improvement is one of your greatest personality strengths.
I hope this was of some help to you. Keep in touch and let me know how school is going for you this semester :).
Karla Partian (1-15-02)
Hey Kim. Okay, when I first read your email, I was kind of like, what kind of person and friend would send a friend an email telling them their weaknesses. I don't think about my friends' weaknesses. I focus on the wonderful aspect of the people I know, but as I kept reading I started thinking about what you wrote.
I couldn't believe you, of all people, would say you want to better yourself. You are one of the most caring and considerate people I know. You are fun and positive.
But I would have to say when I think about it, there is one weakness. I think we are pretty good friends. We had so much fun together junior and senior years of high school. I could always guarantee class would be fun if you were in it. Lord knows you got me through SOOOO many boring classes with Maulin and Rushing, but throughout these hilarious classes and years, there was so much I never knew about you, so much I still don't know about you. You keep so much inside of you. I guess I consider that as a weakness because without expressing yourself you aren't allowing people inside.
I, obviously, am a "lay it all out on the table" sort of person and I am not always the best at reading between the lines. I could tell so many times when it seemed like you were hurting because of one thing or another, but I never had any idea what it was. You are a fantastic person; I just think that you and I could have been closer if we would have shared more. Maybe it’s just me though. I hope you had an awesome break. I love you Kim! Thank you for making me sit down and thinking about all this, it really made me reevaluate some things. You are an awesome person and there is nothing about you that needs to change, but I do hope this is what you were asking for.
Laura Payne (1-21-02)
I want you to know that I like you just the way you are. If you want to change yourself, that is between you and God. I know that you are sarcastic, but maybe that is a talent. I know one time that you kept me sane during a junior project with Meierhoff and Andrea. If it wasn't for your humor, I would have gone off and said things I shouldn't have said.
Nobody is perfect; I want you to know that. We all have areas to work on, but just having time with God everyday and listening to Him will improve both your spiritual life and personality. If you really feel convicted of a certain characteristic, then God will show you how to fix it. But God made you the way you are, so maybe you should think instead of changing your qualities, think about how you could use them for the Lord.
That's my best advice for you. Hope you are loving Texas, I hope it's warmer there then it is here. Miss ya!
~Shana McCoy~ (1-15-02)
Hi! First of all Kim I would like to say good luck on this resolution. It's a good one. Here is all the help I can do for you right now. I really like you the way you are. I really love your sarcasm though, so I don't think you should change that at all. Of course I am a pretty sarcastic person too. Oh well maybe that is why I like it so much. Well that is all I have for now. If I think of anything else I'll let you know.
Good Luck! Stephanie Taylor (1-17-02)
Wow, Kimberly, I commend you. That's some New Year's resolution! But, I'm sure you can do it, and why I know that is because one of your best qualities is your determination. You always have such a GREAT attitude about things as well. And your optimism... that is definitely contagious. I love how you made me laugh and you were always able to ease my stress. You listen really well. I really don't know of any bad things about you, Kimbo! Hang in there, and keep me posted on how you're doing. I love how you keep in touch! Take care!
Love, Susan Meierhoff :O) (1-16-02)
Well, this is definitely an interesting e-mail you have sent out. I have never heard of such a thing before but I think it is very bold of you to ask people what they think of you personality wise and think it's awesome that you can do that! Well, though you say your sarcasm gets you into trouble sometimes, I guess I sometimes do not notice. Don't get me wrong, I am not blind or anything, lol. From my observations of the typical sarcastic
individual, I think that sarcastic people are usually very quick to think, smart and witty. Be proud of your sarcastic ways (seriously, that was not sarcasm...lol). I am not trying to be nice or anything, but, from my own point of view I really don't see many flaws in your personality.
Well, this is DEFINATELY not a flaw....but you are usually so happy and I just wonder how you do that all the time. I wish I could do that even half the time. How do you stay so optimistic about things your life? Do you think if something really bad happened to you that you would still be optimistic about things? I bet you would. That takes such strength. For me, I feel like I don't know what it takes to be truly happy these days and that not everyone can achieve it. I think some people are more happier than others but that unhappiness is not unluckiness, it just simply happens. Well anyways, I just think it's good that you're usually happy because it always puts me in a better mood! I only hope that I can pay it forward to others. Your happiness is such a good
trait....however, just because I told you this does not mean I expect to see you happy all the time. Feel free to be sad or mad, too! LOL!
Oh, another thing that I think is a good trait is that you are a very good listener and you seem to be very trustful. I always feel comfortable confiding things in you. I don't just tell everyone anything. Ya know? People like listeners. Also, I like the fact that you are a very strong and outgoing person, it's what makes a good leader. People need leaders. LOL,..I am a strong person, and outgoing,....yet I am shy too sometimes (but I think most everyone is). Also, I like that you really care about your friendships and always try to hold them together, that's an awesome friend for a person to have....I know because I have been a good friend to people before yet some just threw me away....but after a while, I got to thinking that it was really their loss, not mine...because I knew I had tried my hardest and valued the importance of friendship. I see you doing the same things, being a caring friend and valuing friendship. Anyways, I hope I answered some of your questions good enough. :) Well, I guess I can take this last line to say thank you for always being such a wonderful friend! Lata GATA!!!!!!!! :)
Holly Herr (1-15-02)
Hey girl!!!!!!!!! You know, I’ve been sitting here thinking about your last e-mail, I was like, you know that is a great idea--I want to do that too, but I have been racking my mind about what to say and I just seriously don't know. And you know me girl, when I don't like something about someone I say it. I know that we really clicked as friends because we do have about the same personality. I love how you love to laugh with me and that whenever I needed someone you were there for me. We could just sit and listen to music and that was cool. One thing you need to work on is your tan--because seriously, I still feel bad about that one time when we laid out and you got FRIED!! But on a serious note you are an awesome girl who knows who you are and won't be fake with anyone, I really love that about you--you are real. You know where you are going in life and have a clear mind about it. You love people in general and you will go out of your way to help them. You know everybody--and everybody loves you. I really don't think you are overly sarcastic, but maybe that is because I am the same way. But I know that you are a great friend and I miss you to death......love ya girl!!!!!
Karin Grimes (1-16-02)
Wow, now that’s an email. I think that you are a great friend to have and I am honored to have you as one. I think that you are a great listener and a great advice giver. Also you are fun to be around and talk with. I miss talking to you this year and I hope that you are
having a great one. Now negative things, I am terrible at so right now I can’t think of anything. I want to thank you for that challenge as well because I often wonder that too: why it is you like certain people maybe? It is because you just click or something about them that attracts that person to you a special quality in them. I also think that you are a very caring person and someone who can see others for who they are on the inside. I hope that this helps and that you have a great year and semester in school.
Mandy Woodall (1-15-02)
Hey Kim- I know this is a way WAY overdue reply- but honestly your one of the most awesome people I've met at ACU- so I'm not going to offer any suggestions on how to improve yourself. I don't know you very well (yet!) but I have to say I think your sense of humor and your outlook on life are amazing- so- don't change those two things, whatever you do! Keep up the good work thus far! :)
Sarah Hutto (1-22-02)