This is going to be short sweet and to the point because I've got to get to bed...
But I was pondering some thoughts tonight, trying to explain a person's behavior to myself. [Us psychology people are ALWAYS doing this sort of thing...HA!] Anyways...
I think some people are constantly seeking outside approval and need people to constantly be telling them of their approval of them. They want constant empathy or even sympathy for their situation. With these individuals I think many times it is important to look back and see if in that situation the person is needing all that feedback to justify their own approval of them self.
I think a lot comes down to self-examination and seeing if YOU alone approve of yourself.
First you've got to love yourself.
Many times those who don't love themselves are in dyer need for approval and feedback from others, especially if they know where they can go to get the approval they are seeking.
Do you love yourself?
[A quick analysis of this situation would be to explain it as low self-esteem, but I like to look more into it and delve into the rest of the story...HA!]
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CLARIFICATION: I am not saying needing approval is unhealthy or bad. We ALL need and seek approval. We are social beings, but some levels of need for approval become unhealthy.
When you get to the state where your state of being is totally reliant upon your approval from others, that is unhealthy.
I'm very guilty of seeking approval; however, I don't believe I take it to an unhealthy standard.
You are going to be such a great therapist. Might have to utilize your services at some point. Note to self: Make sure I'm always friends with Kim- might come in handy some day! :)
Nice post! People indeed need to love themselves first. Approval seeking can be detrimental. Though, I think it can also serve as a maintenance factor for homeostasis. Approval often maintains a system -- perhaps if one loses one person's approval, they lose eight person's approval. Also depends on the history of the relationships between the people where approval seeking occurs. I was thinking that perhaps we all seek approval in certain unhealthy ways in order to survive -- society feeds this need and shuns those who it disapproves of. Hence, Maslow stated that very few people ever reach full self-actualization. Makes sense to me.
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