Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I Don't Know...

I don't really have time to blog, and probably shouldn't, but a second ago I started almost getting depressed because I have had so many things I've wanted to blog about the past few days but haven't had the chance too, but tonight I've had so many things running through my head that I just have to let this out and suffer the consequence of being tired tomorrow on my longest day of the week...

I need to start off by clarifying about my recently mentioned concerns about working my internship at the homeless shelters. My concerns revolve around the idea of fear for my own safety as well as concerns of knowing what I'm doing as well as being taken seriously. On the other hand, my concerns were in no way related to having to work with the homeless population in relation to them being homeless people who I'm better than, or that they are gross no good folks that just need to go out and get a job.

I won't say whom, but I've experienced the comments from some folks when I've mentioned that I would be working at a homeless shelther this semester that aren't all that impressive in my opinion. I've gotten everything from, "Will you be able to eat lunch out there with them!?!?" to "Why don't they just go get jobs?!?!" to "Are you going to wash off with a hose when you go home before you go into your house?!?!" I've gotten it all, trust me....

Basically what I want to get at really quick in this entry is the whole idea of are any of us really better than anyone else? And if so, what makes someone better than someone else?

I was thinking and it's funny how people's differences can be viewed as so negatively or they can be viewed so positively. Look how the comments I mentioned above make the differences between the homeless population that I will be working with and the commenters themselves seem so negatively different. Yes, maybe the homeless don't get to shower as often as you and I. And yes, maybe they are more suseptible (however the crap you spell that word...i don't have time to put it on Word right now and see) to illnesses or lice or scabbes (can't spell that one either), but does that make them "bad" people?

I don't know....honestly, I'm really not in a great mood right now and it is totally influencing this blog...HA (at least I can laugh about it!) ;)

Here are two quick points I want to make to wrap these random thoughts up...

1) This makes me think of the ONE thing I got out of going to church tonight (yes, I actually went and I can honestly say I didn't enjoy it): Romans 12:16--Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willling to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited."

So maybe if people's differences really do make them into "positions," indicating some people are higher than others, then maybe I will be working this semester with "people of low position." But that only brings me to my second point which I've been thinking a lot about lately and even read another blog recently that had some comments that made me think even more about this....

2) Maybe the whole idea out there about people who grow up lower class will most likely all be lower class and people middle class will normally remain middle class...and so on and so forth. And the idea that the lower class should associate and marry within the lower class and the middle class within their class and the upper class within their class...

I've never liked that idea. I like the thought that just because I someone grew up poor they can still be whatever or whoever they want to be in the future.

But maybe society has a way of keeping the lower class folks with the lower class folks and the middle with the middle and so on and so forth.

Maybe that's why I'm working with some of the poorest individuals in our country...I grew up poor and that's where I belong in a sense. I didn't pick this placement; it kind of found me. Was that society's influence? A good friend of mine grew up in a family that has always lived comfortably and her placement was in a hospital setting; a setting among doctors, some of the wealthiest professionals in our country. She didn't pick her placement, it found her. Society at work again?!?! I don't know....

Maybe i'll be poor and "trailer trash" the rest of my life...i don't know...i don't know what life has in store for me. Maybe there is a reason I shop at Wal-Mart. Maybe I'll end up with a graduate degree and homeless as statistics show that many homeless DO in fact have college degrees. I don't know....

All I do know right now for sure is I gotta go make my lunch for tomorrow and get to bed...

[Note: This entry has just been written as some of the thoughts going through my head recently. It's just food for thought. No one should take this personally as it is not written to target anyone...it's just thoughts I've had based on things I've seen, read, and heard lately.]

THIS BLOG HAS NOT BEEN PROOF READ AS OF RIGHT NOW. SORRY!

7 comments:

Holly said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Holly said...

Doh, sorry. Hopefully you got my comment in e-mail at least. Went to revise it and deleted it.

FeedingYourMind said...

Here is Holly's comment she accidently deleted:

Kim,

When I began reading this entry I was thinking "This bad mood entry stuff is not very Kimish" and was not so sure about it; but by the end I realized how good it really was...

It shows that you are becoming a true social worker. Your ethics are fitting the mold. That is a great accomplishment if you ask me. There are so many people that don't really have the heart or understanding for it.

I can't remember if I have ever asked anything about the eating part (b/c I think we talked about it in line -- or not?) but, if so, it would not have been meant as an "icky-eew-you have to eat with the homeless freaks" thing. More like, "can you eat with your clients?" Though, maybe it was meant by someone in a derogatory way or something. I can't -- but actually can -- believe the questions that make the homeless individual out to be worthless/dirty objects. It's sad, isn't it?

Random but I just thought of: I think I once told you about someone who once said something to the extent of, "God doesn't want us to help the homeless. If we give to them, they'll never learn. They can get out of their situation." I think God calls us to certain places sometimes -- to help.

Anyway, I'd like to leave you with a quote from one of the most famous poems ever written entitled, "Desiderata," by Max Ehrmann:

"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

Sometimes I have to remind myself of these wise words. If you get a chance, look up the poem in Google and read it. I discovered it this summer.

FeedingYourMind said...

Holly: Yeah, I know when I went to bed after writing that comment I was thinking, that isn't going to turn out right. You know, like how you will say something, or normally in my case, blog something when you are feeling really passionate or moved about it because of one reason or another (or in this case because I just was really busy and had so many things on my mind that I SHOULD have been doing, yet I was blogging because I really wanted too), so I think it did influence my blog (no doubt). HOWEVER...

I still think I was successful in making a few points that honestly HAVE been on my mind this past week, but I just haven't got to mention them because I have been so busy. Hopefully my mood when writting them won't take too much away from what I wanted to get out there...

We'll see... ;)

Thanks for your thoughts, Holly.

Oh...P.S...those "comments" I mentioned in the blog, those weren't mentioned by you, and actually, I'm pretty sure the people I got them from don't read my blogs (but they may, who knows! HA!)

Holly said...

Kim:

I liked your entry, as I mentioned. B/c you were in a "bad mood" when you wrote it does not mean I thought, or expected, it would take away from the quality or meaning. So, no need to think that it might have taken away from what you wanted to say. I simply thought it wasn't like you at first, was all. Then again, what is "normal" anyway? Blogs are indeed forums for the totality of our good and our not-so-good moods.

Amanda said...

Kim,
I've visited your blog a couple of times and I like the way you think. You would have done well in my graduate classes.

I think sometimes people make comments such as "Why don't they just get a job" is becuase it might give them justifiction for inaction.

When I see the homeless I become very frustrated at myself and those who have the ability to do something and yet don't. We have been able to busy ourselves with our work, entertaiment and other noises so that the sounds, sights, and smells of poverty are drowned out, ignored or covered up with our nice comfortable lives.

Anyways, you should check out Larry James blog http://www.larryjamesurbandaily.blogspot.com/
(For some reason I can't get it to link the way I want)

Your doing good work. Keep it up.

GITCHA said...

Kim,

Your doing what some of us refuse or would never like to do, although we should. Trying to understand the world of a poor person is hard to do and I don't think I could ever understand that world fully. It is like a whole other culture. However, you have the opportunity to enter that world and see things that would scare the rest of us to death. An opportunity to educate us middle class people about another world that we are truly not aware of. I think that myself and other's have a lack of understanding when it comes to those who are in poverty and so we don't help in a way that we should. Perhaps when you truly understand their culture and way of doing things then compassion is easier to come by. Mabey we all should step back a bit from our busy lives and try to gain an understanding about those who are in poverty insead of relying on our sterotypes and opinions of why we think they ended up that way.

Take advantage of the time you have to learn as much as you can from these folks and be sure to educate us along the way. I know that you will be great at what you do. Keep it real with them !

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and happiness. (Unknown)